I guess I should have known that this was going to happen.
It seemed really obvious from how things went in the beginning.
There have been so many on and off again struggles with this divorce.
My divorce STILL is not final. I got the email from his lawyer yesterday letting us know that the judge still had not signed the papers- still married, going on a year of trying to get a divorce. At this rate it seems as if I we are not EVER getting divorced. I will be 78 years old with fourty-seven plants and still be married to him.
He and I are amicable. We don’t argue anymore and if ever I want to see the puppy he always lets me.
So it’s not that I want to be divorced because I am grouchy with him- not at all. It’s mostly just for the sake of taxes and because of financial aid for school.
It does feel weird though, because even though we aren’t legally divorced yet, if people ask if I am married, I tell them “oh no, I’m divorced”. “Divorced” seems to be the dirty “D” word now. Where people hear you say DIVORCED as if it’s the key phrase of a Satan chant and everyone looks at you like the “D Word” is contagious. I find it especially interesting when people find out I am going through a divorce because I look much younger than I am- and as if (to some) divorce isn’t bad enough, now I’m SIXTEEN and divorced. Eye. Rolls. All. Day.
But he and I actually spoke not too long ago. I called him to basically say thanks for the divorce- which I know is SO WEIRD. But I grew so much from it- and I am really happy in my life. And I think and hope that he is happy too. Both of our lives are going in completely different directions, and I am reminded with every new step he takes in his life how much I enjoy mine.
It is a smidge weird though- I won’t lie. To be nonchalant with a man you were in love with and share a bed with. The man who saw you at your everything. Aaaand, now you guys are just random people who sometimes need signatures or over the phone approvals to switch names over.
Somethings in life are just weird and freaky- and I think that’s all there is to it. So maybe in another 6 months/ year I will post again and actually be divorced.
But don’t hold your breath 😊