I can’t even

I can’t shake this feeling that maybe there is more to do in life. I am not sure if it’s because I am coming fresh off of a vacation from Cancun. Maybe I am still feeling relaxed and revived from turning 24 years old- or maybe the pilot on my trip back to San Diego is releasing drugs through the air vents and making me feel all sorts of ways- regardless, here we are.

I watched a video from the one and only Kalyn Nicholson – Episode 1 of her new series Coffee Chronicles and it gave me all the feels. She explains how she feels like it’s easy to get caught going through the motions of life. You work and work, go go go and what do you have to show for it? Sure you can have money, nice things, but what happens when that isn’t enough? This video resonated with me so much as I prepare to go back into what I left at work for a week. Back to bills, make up and wearing pants.

I have learned in my 24 short years, only recently might I add, that we are created for so much more. I am not speaking religiously, or even trying to be mushy gushy- just realistic here. Why do we work so hard? Why do we want our children to receive a good education? Quality of life. And what is life if all we do is go go go?

Vegas Friend has really opened my eyes to the world outside of work, anxious thoughts and what really matters. I think it is really important to work hard, save your vacation time, travel, learn, explore- do all of the things.

I think it all just goes to say that your mindset is really what counts. You should always be grateful for what you have, and never envious for what you do have. If you really want something, work hard for it and you can achieve it. But do not get sucked into what society wants you to do. If we only focus on today, and our problems and issues we will drive ourselves into the ground.

Refresh Routine

After 4 flights, 8 hours of layovers, more than 20 hours of travel and only showers with minimal water pressure- I was aching for a refresh of sorts. I find myself seeking a refresh in two times. One is when I have had a really long week and I begin to feel as if the week is swallowing me whole. I tend to lose myself, rational thoughts, and my positivity after a while. Two is when I have neglected my responsibilities or been away for a while and have to jump back into reality.

This blog is all about number two. Cancun was so great, but reality always smacks you in the face. Having severe anxiety I plan, replan and over plan the things I will do from the moment I get home to the moment I go to sleep- exhausting I know. There are different types of refreshing though, depending on the need.

You can mentally refresh- which I find myself doing on the weekends, or on Friday nights as my work week comes to an end. I find so much importance in making sure you are mentally in a good place, as it sets the tone for the day. A few ways I do this (I guess because I am a Californian/hippy/millennial/freak) are to diffuse some essential oils. I like to make sure my surroundings are clean, and free of mess and clutter. I will take a long hot shower, write a blog not to be publish (there’s a ton!) or even do some yoga. Some times I will just listen to music or have a little dance party in my room- whatever makes me feel free, and clear, and happy.

I have always loved and appreciated the saying that “a clear home is a clear mind”. It’s taken me a really long time to be able to keep my place at a constant state of clean, and most of it is sheer laziness and maybe 2% time. I always like to start my week off with a clean home, clean clothes, I will clean out my purse- any task to just get rid of the old and in with the new I fully embrace. Isn’t it always nicer to wake up and come home to a clean house? I think so.

Then there is the emotional refresh. This is tricky for me, always. Because I struggle with anxiety I find myself constantly wrapped up in the “what if’s” and those thoughts steal your happiness. Sometimes, because I am a child apparently, I really just have to tell myself “it’s okay, you’re okay, everything is okay” (told you I was a child). Emotionally this just lets me release what I am freaking out about move on to what really matters- like coffee and cookie dough.

Considering I am experiencing a vacation hangover to the Nth degree right now, I’ve implemented all of these steps. It can be hard to transition from a work week to weekend, or vacay to work week- but positivity is the key. You just take that hangover, smother it in essential oils, give it a nap and some coffee- you’ll be good as new.

Chichen Itza, Human Sacrifices, And I Almost Died

Vegas Friend and I took a small private tour to Chichen Itza (which we called chicken pizza). We met up with two couples, one from Dallas, and one from just outside London. Dallas Friends, Steve Jobs (not the actual Steve Jobs, duhhh) and Hannah Montana who had been to Mexico 4 times before! Our London Friends, let’s call them Adele and Vanilla Ice, were an absolute hoot. Younger than me but finally stable enough for the airfare and all inclusive resorts- they were gems.

We had quite the early start, waking up at 5:15, taking a taxi to the ferry, ferry to the first private car, then to the second private car to pick up our London Friends. We were met on the second ride by our Dallas Friends- celebrating their 6 year wedding anniversary and the nicest people of life

I am not a person to socialize just because well…. I’m the most anxious person of life but Vegas Friend made small talk quite soon- so I had no choice. My rational mind knew that this was smart since we would be spending 12 hours with these humans. We ended up talking A LOT. About schools we went to, our jobs, families, marriage, divorce, kids- everything! By time our almost 3 hour ride to Chicken Pizza was over we were all pretty comfortable with each other.

Adele, and I basically died on the trip. It was so incredibly hot, and humid, and someone was making these jaguar calls and freaking us out. It got to a point where we were questioning if we would make it out alive.

Speaking of alive, our tour guide took us right by a Cenote… conveniently located by an altar. He proceeded to tell us that right down that Cenote were hundreds of bodies from a long time ago. Human Sacrifices to the Mayan Gods. Adele and I were shook.

Fast forward to when we got to swim in one of the Cenotes (not the dead body one). Hannah Montana and I were FREEZING to death in a cave that could collapse and had a depth of 150 feet! We treaded water for as long as possible then got a little freaked thinking about how we wouldn’t be able to touch the bottom if we needed a break so went on over to the ropes for a bit of a reprieve.

This trip was so incredibly fun. Poor Adele was incredibly sunburned and Hannah Montana and I were exhausted. We laughed about cultural differences, the colloquialism differences and how Americans only ever talk about food.

If I were to recommend anything it would be to bring snacks, a water bottle to spray your body to cool down, an umbrella to shade the sun- and always speak to your tour buddies. So much fun!