How To Kick Anxieties Ass| Collab w/ Nicculent!

Hello lovelies, and welcome back to Adultish! Now as you know if you’ve been following my blog for any amount of time I am about as anxious as they come. I’m talking I can’t tie my shoes if I am hesitant about my breakfast choice kind of anxious. Anxiety is such a complex “thing” (let’s not call it a disorder just to be nice). Nicculent has done an amazing job at outlining what anxiety is, and how to tell if you have it. This is a collaboration we have worked hard on and to get the full effect make sure you check out her blog on this as well! In this blog we will talk about ways to manage your anxiety… and let me tell you, I have definitely found some tricks along the way!

Firstly, I think it’s really important to come to terms with the idea that you are anxious. I don’t believe in hiding your feelings and hoping they will go away. That’s the equivalent of putting a blanket over a pile of laundry and pretending it’s folded- while we have all been guilty, we are just lying to ourselves.

Now that you know you’re an anxious little bundle of emotions, try to rationally think about what it is that’s making you anxious. Take your anxiety as an opportunity to reevaluate your current situation and ask yourself what could be done to resolve the problem. This takes a tremendous effort to step outside of the “feelings” box you are in and enter a happier place.

This happy place can be whatever you want it to be. Think beach, forest, at home with your partner, with your parents, or alone in a bath tub with a bottle of wine (guilty). When you become anxious think about this happy place, it will lower your heart rate and allow your thoughts to swim a bit slower so you can actually *think* about what is going on.

While you are rationally thinking about your life and visualizing yourself in a tub as big as the Ganges river, your thoughts can either be happy or good. Usually when we are anxious we are also mean to ourselves. Thoughts like “why didn’t I do this, ugh so stupid!” swim around and that hammers us into an even more anxious little ball of emotion. Instead of letting your “mean voice” control the scene, allow the positive voice to come into play. Think “I know this didn’t go as planned, but what can I do now.”. When we think negatively we charge the vicious cycle of anxiety. When we think positively, we calm the cycle, we ground ourselves and become more realistic in our thinking.

Now of course not everything is that easy, and it takes a very strong mind and heart to implement these steps as they are mentally challenging. But what you already know about anxiety is that certain things will serve as triggers to your anxiety. For me, I am most anxious when my apartment isn’t clean, or when I don’t get enough sleep. Situations out of my control that make me anxious is when I think someone is mad at me. These things I might not have complete control over and to think my apartment can be immaculate at all times is just a psychotic thought I have given up on. So instead, I learned to change my approach. If I think someone is mad at me, I rationally think if I have upset them, and even if I have, I tell myself I can not allow it to steal my joy.

It’s not like everytime you are experiencing severe anxiety that you have to play along with these mind game mentioned above. Sometimes you need a quicker, more realistic “fix’. This is when I recommend the following:

  • Talk to a friend, let them in, and maybe cry a little. It’s good for your soul and you will feel lighter- I pinky promise.
  • Go for a walk outside. Sunshine helps with your mood so much, and getting your body moving will make your mind stop.
  • EAT. Make sure you eat something throughout the day. I have noticed if I accidentally skimp on meals that my anxiety is 10x worse. I think it is the sugar crash.
  • Write it out. Take all of your anxious little feelings and thoughts and give them another home other than your mind. As the words form on your paper let them stay there, and do not give them permission to come back into your thoughts.
  • Talk to a doctor. When my anxiety and depression was at its worse I went to the doctor and was prescribed medicine that helped me SO much. I was still able to function, and it gave me the ability to live my life. When I got off the medicine I was left with a better understanding of which situations should instill anxiety and which one’s my brain was taking too far.

I hope this blog was helpful to someone! These were my tricks along the way to becoming a less anxious person, and how I think I was able to really overcome being diagnosed with anxiety. I hope you check out Nicculents blog as well and show her some love!

signature

July Goals| Get Your Life Together

If you didn’t already know I have a mild obsession with getting my life together and staying organized. I have written several blogs about GYSTing and just getting your life together in general, I will link them down below in case you’re in a stalking mood. One thing that I really love to do is set goals for each month. June was a good month, I got a lot of stuff done and went to Vegas- so really, who could complain? We are already SEVEN months into 2018; how did this even happen?

 

Now some months I have extravagant goals like building a pyramid out of butter, but this month I am taking it easy, relatively.

 

My first goal is to continue to save money. I have a few extra things coming up that will add income to my life. My goal for 2018 was to have X amount of money saved up, and July is going to be a huge stepping stone to accomplish that goal. If I don’t spend it all on food first.

 

Second, I mentioned a few blogs ago I wanted to start taking vitamins, well I bought them… and for maybe two weeks took them. So now the goal is to CONSISTANTLY take vitamins. Why is this so hard for me?

 

I need to buy tires. Probably don’t NEED to buy them this month but everytime I drive I am reminded I need to buy them and it’s stressing me out. This will be the month.

 

Selfishly, I have decided I need a little more “me” time. I have also really gotten back into reading again so I am making it a goal to finish a book this month. I know that doesn’t seem hard at all, but with a full time job, full time school, blog, and extreme anxiety and OCD, completing a book seems like a dream to me.

I want to schedule posts 2/week on Adultish. I did to the May Blog A Day (31 blogs straight) so I *should* be able to write two a week… but for some reason this just seems daunting!

And then, random as hell, my last goal is just weird. I just want to remember to put lotion on everyday. It’s dry and hot here, okay?

 

As you can tell, these goals are for sure easier than some of my other ones- but these are the things I want to focus on. I’m weird, I know.

signature

 GYST Day Blog 

 Spring Clean Your Life

Get Your Life Together

How To Survive When You’re Barely Alive 

Refresh Routine

After 4 flights, 8 hours of layovers, more than 20 hours of travel and only showers with minimal water pressure- I was aching for a refresh of sorts. I find myself seeking a refresh in two times. One is when I have had a really long week and I begin to feel as if the week is swallowing me whole. I tend to lose myself, rational thoughts, and my positivity after a while. Two is when I have neglected my responsibilities or been away for a while and have to jump back into reality.

This blog is all about number two. Cancun was so great, but reality always smacks you in the face. Having severe anxiety I plan, replan and over plan the things I will do from the moment I get home to the moment I go to sleep- exhausting I know. There are different types of refreshing though, depending on the need.

You can mentally refresh- which I find myself doing on the weekends, or on Friday nights as my work week comes to an end. I find so much importance in making sure you are mentally in a good place, as it sets the tone for the day. A few ways I do this (I guess because I am a Californian/hippy/millennial/freak) are to diffuse some essential oils. I like to make sure my surroundings are clean, and free of mess and clutter. I will take a long hot shower, write a blog not to be publish (there’s a ton!) or even do some yoga. Some times I will just listen to music or have a little dance party in my room- whatever makes me feel free, and clear, and happy.

I have always loved and appreciated the saying that “a clear home is a clear mind”. It’s taken me a really long time to be able to keep my place at a constant state of clean, and most of it is sheer laziness and maybe 2% time. I always like to start my week off with a clean home, clean clothes, I will clean out my purse- any task to just get rid of the old and in with the new I fully embrace. Isn’t it always nicer to wake up and come home to a clean house? I think so.

Then there is the emotional refresh. This is tricky for me, always. Because I struggle with anxiety I find myself constantly wrapped up in the “what if’s” and those thoughts steal your happiness. Sometimes, because I am a child apparently, I really just have to tell myself “it’s okay, you’re okay, everything is okay” (told you I was a child). Emotionally this just lets me release what I am freaking out about move on to what really matters- like coffee and cookie dough.

Considering I am experiencing a vacation hangover to the Nth degree right now, I’ve implemented all of these steps. It can be hard to transition from a work week to weekend, or vacay to work week- but positivity is the key. You just take that hangover, smother it in essential oils, give it a nap and some coffee- you’ll be good as new.

7 Ways to Survive When You’re Barely Alive| Adultish

I got inspired to write this after I sent off my ten positives to Mom/Ass Kicker (if you don’t know what I am talking about click here). I was laughing at the half-ass things I have learned that have made me *seem* like I know what I am doing- but I TOTALLY DO NOT. And then it made me think about all of the things that I have figured out within the past eight-ish months or so.

First things first, COFFEE. My life would be nothing with out coffee. Between post-divorce insomnia and an anxious mind I rarely sleep and if it weren’t for coffee I don’t think I would even manage to put my shoes on the right feet. This is also what helped me get my Starbucks Gold card in… uhm… no time flat.

Plan Ahead- this is one of those things that you do not want to do- but once you do it just once or twice you learn the value of it. Example: setting out your clothes the night before. I always want to just climb in bed and go to sleep- but then I realize that when I don’t set my clothes out the night before I end up with a tornado of clothes, running late for work, and ultimately stressed. Planning ahead can be as simple as setting your clothes out/ meal planning/ anything that promotes simplicity.

Dry shampoo- it is your friend, your best friend. Home girl does NOT have time to do my hair everyday, and survey says washing your hair everyday isn’t healthy for it- so dry shampoo yourself up and gain some more time in your life. Conversely- shave your head. I have thought about it. #noshame

Live by the “one touch” rule. Basically this is where instead of coming home from work and putting your coat, keys, bag, phone all on the couch “to move later” you just put it away. This might seem like more work than what you want to do- but the alternative is a messy AF house with shit everywhere and you being uber overwhelmed.

Live a life of simplicity, especially if you’re basically dead to begin with. Go back to basics- clean up your living environment, minimize, sort through the things that are clouding your mind and your life and embrace only the things that bring you joy #ThanksKonMari. When you do this there is a feeling of relief, a weight lifted off your shoulders knowing you’re not stepping over shit you don’t need, emotionally or physically.

Devote one day to GYSTing. I talk about this a lot on Adultish mainly because it’s how I survive. I pick one day, usually Sunday to fill up my car, do my laundry, restock coffee, ensure I have enough creamer for the week, clean out my car and anything else that was neglected over the week. In doing this you never get overtly behind in anything.

Develop a routine. A night routine/GYST routine/ morning routine- develop any sort of regimented protocol you can follow to help with getting your life in order. Doing so helps ensure that you get what needs to be done done and routines are just all around good for your soul. Develop a “self care” routine. Journal, meditate, listen to your favorite radio station getting ready, collect crystals- do something that feeds your soul, especially when it is already feeling depleted.

And as always, if you don’t know what will feed your soul, if you don’t have routines set in place that work for you, or if you just plain old don’t even know where to start- just go stalk the blogs I have written. I learned a crap ton of hard lessons- so maybe I could spare you of some.

 

 

 

GYST DAY

I’ve spoken before about GYST days and how I value them. Sundays are my coveted days for Gyst-ing I like to get as much done as possible so that I can try and relax during the week (or, if you’re keeping up with my life; in case I get a deadly head cold and sleep for 48 hours).

IMG_4979

A made bed is now a rule for me, because if I don’t make my bed I tend to crawl back into it for “just 5 more minutes”. Most Sundays I have to calculate my priorities, cleaning/ chores or homework. This Sunday I did my chores first because I was totally  putting off homework. #Whoops

I deeply needed to organize all of my files, bills, letters, divorce crap- so I got out my trusty label maker and labeled a file folder/pendaflex thing and got to work. I really didn’t like the idea of all my bills and important documents being in a million places, so organizing them like this was awesome! Now if I need anything I know exactly where it is, and it takes a second to grab. And of course in the event of a fire/ tsunami/ SoCal-Natural-Disaster we might have, I will be prepared! IMG_4915

Around 10 I practically forced myself to sit down and get some homework done. I wouldn’t say that my classes are hard (excluding one that I am in right now where i’m 98% sure my professor is trying to kill me). However, it takes such self discipline to sit down for hours and devote your time to homework. Nevertheless I do it- even if I seriously don’t want to.

IMG_4986

At some point in the day I dusted the house, did some laundry, cleaned my bathroom… and then the fun part of GYST day…

PEDICURE TIME! IMG_4989

Now of course this is not an every week thing for two reasons. 1- I hate people touching my feet and it took an unbelievable amount of will power not to kick this lady in the face. So ticklish it’s agony. (But I have cute toes now!) And 2- I am not rich by ANY means, and this is definitely an unnecessary expense.

All in all this was a pretty typical/ normal GYST day for me. Sometimes I do more, sometimes less- but the point of GYST-ing is to literally Get Your Shit Together. Homework and cleaning are always a priority, as is some sort of hair mask (I saved you guys from the picture, you are welcome), and on occasion I shave my legs.

Only occasionally- winter is coming. 🙂