The Struggle Bus

I don’t know if you’ve heard of me, but I am the Struggle Bus. I am what you ride when shit gets too real to ride the Easy Train. Years ago I was the Easy Train, I was new and shiny, engine purred like a kitten and my Mercedes hood ornament was so shiny!But that was years ago. Now I don’t have a hood ornament, some ass-wipe kids took it. My seats are mostly metal, the cushions and fabric are torn off from extreme use, and age. I am kind of stinky, a mix of wet yuck and gasoline. I used to drive smoothly, but now my exhaust pipe blows black gunk and my engine might have a cat stuck in there. But, you already know who I am- who am I kidding.

I am the Struggle Bus. The “I forgot my matching shoe and to brush my hair” transit vehicle on your way to work. I drove you to the store with your last nineteen bucks. It was twenty but I hit a bump and a dollar flew out of the window. Oh, almost forgot to mention how the windows don’t roll up or down because they are cracked and have baseball sized holes in them. I think it gives me character.

I am the Struggle Bus. I am the reason you spilt a smoothie on your white pants before that meeting with your boss today. You know, the meeting where said smoothie-pants smelled up the entire 3rd floor conference room and people just looked at you as if you were a puppy who peed on the rug. I picked you up from that meeting too… except…..PS. You left your keys on the passengers seat and I have zip ties for door handles- so good luck on getting those back. I’m pretty innovative with zip ties.

I am the Struggle Bus. Everyone rides me from time to time. I am usually taking brand new moms to their baby’s first doctor appointment, you know, the one where the doctor freaks you out about everything and then you cry because your baby lost more than 10% of its body weight. Or sometimes I come and pick you up right after a night of intense drinking, I do that for a lot of people. Maybe that’s why I smell?

I know what your thinking. Why the hell would you want to ride the stinky-cat-engine Struggle Bus when you COULD ride the Easy Train? Cause the Easy Train is pretty sweet. Usually you ride it when you have more than twenty bucks for the week and clean pants. And the Easy Train is nice, actual seat cushions, and it doesn’t even stink!

But everyone gets to ride the Struggle Bus, it’s a right of passage. The type of lesson that makes taking the Easy Train feel remarkable. Rides that detour at “Get Your Life Together” and “How to Adult” Avenue. I don’t want you not to like me just because I am not “as nice” as the Easy Train- after all, he doesn’t have the life experience I do. I know I kind of stink, and I know the seats are sticky sometimes, but I have so many lessons to teach you. So please, next time you’re riding the good ole Struggle Bus, try to be appreciative of the things you do like, or think about how everyone has a turn on the Bus. It shouldn’t be viewed as a bad thing, but just another learning experience, a part of life.

Love always,

Struggle Bus.

How To Save Yourself | Adultish

Have you ever had those days when you’re ten points past a healthy level of exhaustion? When all of your thoughts are swimming in your head at an unbelievable pace and you can’t think straight. The days when work clothes feel like a thousand pounds and deadlines are looming over your head? What do you want usually? A glass of wine, a movie, pizza, alone time to do “the dirty”, or maybe just take a nap- because let’s be real you need a shower.

If there’s one thing I have learned it’s that you are the only person that can save you- and no I am not talking about religion. I am talking about listening to your soul, your core, your deepest desires of what your mind and body needs- and then acting on those needs! When you are tired and achy in every way possible- these are the ways to save yourself.

Lifesaving. Tip- Numero Uno


No really, just stop. Stop what your doing, stop what you’re thinking and just be. Listen to your breath, listen to what you know is true. Re calibrate your mind to all things right and pleasant. Listen to the birds, watch the rain fall, feel the wind. Consume yourself with the things that are not complicated. Just stop- and be.

Lifesaving tip- Zwei

Figure out what the issue or stress is- and make a plan. Because even though it would be awesome if things randomly fixed themselves, that’s totally not how life works. Instead we have to recognize that there’s an issue, come to terms with how we feel, figure out why we feel that way- and then kick ass and solve life’s shit. A goal with out a plan is just a wish.

Lifesaving tip- 3

This is actually like 47 tips in one, but when used together can raise the dead (dead-ish). When you’re dead and dying, go take a shower. Take your make up off, shave your body to naked mole rat status, clean your ears out- get yourself cleaned and revamped. Then go put on pajamas, or leggings (because there’s a difference, okay. Leggings *can* be pajamas, but they aren’t a generalized “pajama” article of clothing). And now, veg. Watch YouTube, lay on the couch and watch Netflix- recharge in any and every way possible.

You see, we are “dead” a lot.  We need to be “saved” or put back together, have a little R&R time and time again- and that’s okay! The most amazing things will happen when you learn that you can save yourself. You won’t stress as easily, because you’ll know there’s a remedy. You will be less likely to drive yourself into the ground because you will be in tune when things feel off kilter. And most importantly, well… you won’t be dead.

New Beginnings | Adultish


As most of you know I work at a University. Well every class has a ceremony of sorts to “prepare and guide” them for what is to come in their curriculum. This is an event that I get to organize and put together.

One of the things I love about this event is the excitement from the students. They dress up, their families come, tons of pictures and hype. The energy is awesome! And there are snacks- and let’s face it, maybe THAT is my favorite part. It makes reordering a stage and chairs, countless trips to the store, and 5 hours to set up seem worth it.

But it did get me thinking about how magical and uplifting new beginnings are. Take my divorce as an example. Sure, it sucked in the beginning, and sometimes it still does suck- but I have learned SO MUCH in that time. Everyday seems like a new beginning and a new adventure. Everyday seems like endless opportunities- because that’s how I choose to see it.

I think its so important to analyze where you are in your life, and take inventory of your happiness. There are always things to work on, or to strive towards. There are always new things on the horizon.

It’s taken me a long time to learn this. I used to think “woe is me and my life sucks… blah blah blah” and sometimes I still do because I am not a saint- but those times are few and far between. One of the most interesting things that I have done lately is purchased the book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (well actually Vegas Friend bought it because he was already on Amazon when we talked about it). And guess what?? This book is actually pretty good!

Get this ” Everybody wants to feel good… Everybody wants that. It’s easy to want that. A more important question that people never consider is “what pain do you want in your life?” Mark Manson, the author, goes on to say that basically we all “want to be happy” but happiness doesn’t fall from the sky, and we aren’t willing to learn, or be uncomfortable in situations long enough for us to truly LEARN anything from them.

There are a lot of things that make me happy. BK, Vegas Friend, puppy cuddles- all of these things make me happy because I have learned to appreciate them. I appreciate Vegas Friend for all he his, and all the things that are different about him- I have grown to appreciate him because I know what it’s like to have someone who is not as sincere, or kind as him. I have learned to relish times of puppy cuddles since I left my dog in the divorce- now every cuddle seems that much more amazing.

Just like I know the students at that event were happy/ anxious/ and probably terrified at the same time- they will go on and learn amazing things. They will struggle with their new “normal” but they will learn so many life lessons. Just like we all do, everyday…

And my only piece of advice here is this… “It’s hell in the hallway”, and ice cream and chips always helps when you’re stuck in the hallway.