Coffee Catch Up, Blog 2 | Adultish

If you haven’t read the last coffee catch up, you might want to or you’ll be a smidge confused with this blog. We have a lot of important and “OH MY GOD COOL!!!!” things to talk about. Shall we?

First things first, we need to talk about how this meme is 112% me.

 

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Second, Vegas Friend came home early from his stinky, smelly, camping trip. (And yes, that is Vegas Friends arm in my featured photo… that’s all you get Adultish Fam!) Hallelujah-praise-the-lord because he was D O N E. This meant my time with Tweety came to a halt and I had to go back to my house and resume life as we know it, sans hot tub. First world problems.

Work was a little more cray cray than usual, but we adulted and got stuff done. So come Thursday night I was SO FREAKING READY FOR THE WEEKEND. Since work was extra crazy with some extra hours my boss said I could leave early on Friday. I told Vegas Friend I was going to leave work early and we started talking about the weekend. One casual “we should just go to Vegas” turned into Vegas Friend getting a hotel room and…. are you even ready for this part?

TICKETS TO SEE CELINE DION.

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The excitement was so real Ass Kicker Mom had to tell me to stop freaking out or I would pass out. Accurate. Thanks again mom thing.

This meant that all my weekend GYSTing and homework HAD to be done by time we left for Vegas. Thursday night was a LATE night. But that feeling of satisfaction knowing everything was done was worth it. I went to work in a state of pure excitement and I come 11am I left and we were straight on our way to Vegas and the beautiful Celine.. drool.

I didn’t get too many pictures of the performance, because honestly I was mesmerized the entire time. But I did get the most gorgeous hoodie that says “CELINE DION VEGAS” in glitter. What’s not to love. We went to see the movie Deadpool, and omg, Ryan Reynolds is too much for me.

Later Saturday Vegas Friend went  to play slots and I went to our room to complete a nasty 93 question test for the class I’m in. Safe to say by time I finished I was ready for a drink! I got my trust Jack and Coke, which tasted just like hopes and dreams and we pressed that “repeat bet” button all night. At some point we walked down the strip and I got one of those huge 3 feet tall drinks. About two sips in I had a huge headache and ended up going back to the room and sleeping for about 5 hours while Vegas Friend played multiple rounds of solitaire.

Sunday we went to Raising Canes and had the most delicious chicken ever. Then the mandatory stop to Grand Luxe for beignets. We left Vegas to endure traffic at about 4pm and I got home about 9ish I think.

Then it was a question of going straight to bed or getting my life together. And I chose to get my life together. I worked on Adultish, unpacked from the trip, cleaned up a little, showered and did some homework. Crawled in bed at about midnight and 5am came way too soon.

But I am learning something awesome, that it’s totally possible to do EVERYTHING you want- you just have to be really smart about it. Most nights I get home about 8 or 9pm. I almost always want to just go to bed. But instead I make the conscious decision to be proactive instead of leave things for “tomorrow” (cause I never do it “tomorrow”). So the other night when I got home after work and 5 hours of sleep I put away the laundry I did, worked on the blog, did homework, cleaned out my fridge, filled out my planner, and did all the things. I am so much more productive at this point of my life than I have ever been in my life.

I also made this schedule in excel and I have found visually seeing my time is such a game changer. I use “flex” as free time, but this time is usually spent with Vegas Friend or staying at work later than usual.

I have been able to be more consistent with my goals this week of walking 10k steps and drinking water along with taking my vitamins.

Baby steps my friends… and this meme 🙂

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Time Management & How To Stay Alive

Here we go again with me telling you how you should live your life. As always, my disclaimer is that I am in no way qualified to teach you things, but you clicked so that must mean something! I have been thinking a lot about time management and how I am a pro at wasting all of my time. But considering I have Adultish, a full-time job, I do a lot with Vegas Friend and BK, and I am in school- I decided it was probably time to get my life together and crack down on some time management techniques.

I think first and foremost you have to analyze your time and how you are using it. Write down the moment that you wake up and then go on from that to plan out your entire week. I use “flex” time to distinguish my free time. This allows me to look at my set week and see just how much time I have to do the things I need to.

Do things right as they come up. Instead of saying “oh, I will just do this later” do it right then, it will take two seconds and you won’t forget about it. This keeps your task list relatively short since you will accomplish more.

The less liked solution is to sacrifice sleep. If you can skimp out on an hour of sleep and get 7 instead of 8 hours- but turn in an assignment, do it!

Choose wisely. If you only have an hour and you need to do 6 different things, make sure you’re choosing the most important thing.

Multitask- laundry is the best thing to multitask because you throw it in and do other things while your clothes are washing/ drying. You can listen do a podcast while you fold clothes, or a lecture while you put them away. Laundry is time managements jackpot.

Prioritize. I heard this great analogy about rocks, pebbles and sand. If you have a jar and you have rocks, sand and pebbles and they all need to fit perfectly how do you make it happen? You put the rocks, largest and hardest things to accomplish first- check them off your list and do them. Then you put the pebbles in, cross off your medium sized tasks. Then you do all the tiny tasks you had to do, your sand, and before you know it you’ve perfectly filled up your glass and all your rocks, pebbles and sand (todos) are done!

Make a list. I always make a list, for my blogs, homework, housework, my job- lists are my jam. They keep me on track and make sure I don’t forget things.

I hope you will be able to implement some of these tasks. If not you can be like my friend who said “Time management…. I think about all I need to do… and then I freak the fuck out, then cry”.

9 Things They Don’t Tell You | Adultish

In my short 24-ish years I have learned a lot of things I really wish someone would have told me (or at least warned me!). But I got to learn the way everyone else did, trial and error. Who knows, maybe if I knew these things years ago I would be 7ft tall and a millionaire (disclaimer- you will not be 7ft tall nor a millionaire).

  1. Your credit score can make or break your existence. Use Credit Karma and constantly check your score to see where it’s at and keep an eye out for if there is a sudden change. Do not have late payments, negatively closed accounts or outstanding balances on things. Your credit score impacts the homes you can buy/ rent, your interest on your vehicle, and basically if you’re allowed to breathe or not.
  2. The importance of servicing your car. There’s a reason to change your oil every 5,000 miles and to get your tires rotated- trust the process. When you neglect other things (annual dr visits/ taxes) the repercussions are always worse. Servicing your car is the exact same. Take care of that huge chunk of metal and it will take care of you.
  3. Keep your mouth closed. At work, at home, in mixed company- keeping your secrets secrets will only pay off in the end. Don’t over share about information you wouldn’t want the entire world to know, because a lot of times the entire world will end up knowing.
  4. How practical safes/ fireproof lock boxes are. You know, those big metal things people keep guns or money in. Get your self one of the small ones, just big enough for your personal documents like your social security card and passport type items. Start putting your spare cash in there too- you will be surprised how you won’t spend the money if you can’t see it.
  5. The importance and danger of credit cards. On the one hand credit cards are awesome for online purchases, building your credit and as an “oh shit” fund in case you popped a tire. On the other hand if you are not careful your credit cards can be the downfall of your credit score (see number one).
  6. You need to have car insurance, and health insurance. Health insurance since it’s the law, and smart in case you accidentally chop your arm off. Car insurance because why in the hell would you not have it. If you get in a wreck, your car is stolen, Godzillla smashes it to a million pieces- chances are you don’t have the funds to go out and buy a brand new car all over again.
  7. Learn to budget your money through an app, Dave Ramsey, or through YouTube videos about budgeting. Know what your account balance is at all times, and don’t make impulse buys.
  8. You will die if you don’t drink coffee. Okay, “die” might be a little strong. But really, I am nothing with out coffee.
  9. Invest in your 401k if you have one, or set up an alternative retirement savings. Even if you are only 20 and can only contribute 3% of your income- do it. Additionally, look into having savings automatically withdrawn from each paycheck into a savings you can’t touch- helpful for when Godzilla does smack down your car and you have to uber.

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24 Things Learned In 24 Years

This year was funnnnn. NOT. 23 was not at all like I expected it, and yet I wouldn’t change a single thing about it. So many things happened in just the past 12 months, but I feel like I am 10 years older at the same time. Let’s recap shall we.

  • Got divorced
  • Got my license
  • Moved out
  • Got my first car
  • Got my own place
  • Went to Vegas
  • Vegas Friend and I became “Vegas Friend and I”
  • Started paying all my own bills
  • Went to Palm Springs
  • Flew to Texas
  • Advanced in my job
  • Started school again
  • Made a shit ton of mistakes
  • Started Adultish
  • Sperm Donors release

You get the picture. It’s been quite the whirlwind. But along with all of the crazy bad and crazy good lies the lessons I learned.

  1. Everything happens for a reason. Even if you know the reason or not, things have a way of working out and that’s all you need to worry about.
  2. The stigma around “divorce”is a lot worse than the actual divorce. Religion, expectations and judgements are what make divorce hard. The glares and nasty comments from people tear you to shreds, not your ex.
  3. Forgiveness is key. There is never a good enough reason to harbor unforgiveness. Nothing should steal your joy from you.
  4. Self care is essential. Take that bubble bath, read that book, eat the ice cream. Life is only fun when you break the rules.
  5. Sleep is a necessity. I am someone that can’t live on minimal sleep. I need at least 5 hours a night  on a continual basis in order to survive and not be  a basket case.
  6. Don’t let your gas light come on. There is no reason for that amount of anxiety if you can prevent it. (ps- I really should get gas)
  7. Sometimes buying the more expensive thing saves you money in the long run. This comes especially true to face care and clothing.
  8. The realization you don’t know anything. It’s kind of sobering, but also freeing at the same time.
  9. Knowing when to say you’re not okay. I used to just push through when my depression was really bad and I wouldn’t open up to anyone. But I learned that if you tell someone you’re struggling they keep an eye on you- and sometimes that’s enough to pull you through.
  10. The importance of making your bed. It sets the tone for the whole day. Plus, when you come home your place looks all sophisticated (kind of like you have your life together, except, you don’t. At all).
  11. The best way to overcome your fear is to face it head on. Be it a fear of heights or (like me) a fear of driving- the only way to get over something is to come face to face with it.
  12. Traveling is always the answer. If there’s one thing that I could change in recent years, I would have traveled more.
  13. You will never be in a situation you regret as long as you’re constantly true to yourself. I strive so hard to make sure situations don’t change who I am in my core- sometimes it works better than others.
  14. The “F” word is the best. That is all.
  15. Cooking is a gift. Some people have it, and some people do not. Like me.
  16. Not everyone is going to like you. Which works out really well, because you’re not going to like everyone either.
  17. Nurture the relationships that mean the most to you. Send flowers for no reason, buy someone lunch, say sorry when you’re a jerk.
  18. The importance of your past. Where we come from has a lot to say about where we are going. Everything we have done is because of our past- don’t shame it, embrace it.
  19. Know that people make mistakes, and they don’t know it. This one sucked to learn. EDF made mistakes. But she did’t know it, didn’t understand it’s impact, thought it was the right thing to do. Parents don’t come with instruction manuals, they are just winging it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
  20. “Being cool” is never worth it. You should never change who you are just to fit in, or for someone to like you.
  21. Chocolate is life. Only dark chocolate though, move over milk chocolate.
  22. Wash your dishes immediately. Seriously, there is nothing worse than dishes that have sat and have hardened food on them.
  23. Deciding you don’t want to have kids is YOUR decision. And should you ever change your mind, that’s okay too.
  24. The beauty of healthy relationships. Having genuine, real, safe relationships are so vital to your growth and well being.

If you made it to the end of this— DANNNG I am impressed. Three of my fingers fell off while typing this long thing. Be sure to check out Day 1 and Day 2 of May Blog A Day.

What have you learned in your advanced age?

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The Struggle Bus

I don’t know if you’ve heard of me, but I am the Struggle Bus. I am what you ride when shit gets too real to ride the Easy Train. Years ago I was the Easy Train, I was new and shiny, engine purred like a kitten and my Mercedes hood ornament was so shiny!But that was years ago. Now I don’t have a hood ornament, some ass-wipe kids took it. My seats are mostly metal, the cushions and fabric are torn off from extreme use, and age. I am kind of stinky, a mix of wet yuck and gasoline. I used to drive smoothly, but now my exhaust pipe blows black gunk and my engine might have a cat stuck in there. But, you already know who I am- who am I kidding.

I am the Struggle Bus. The “I forgot my matching shoe and to brush my hair” transit vehicle on your way to work. I drove you to the store with your last nineteen bucks. It was twenty but I hit a bump and a dollar flew out of the window. Oh, almost forgot to mention how the windows don’t roll up or down because they are cracked and have baseball sized holes in them. I think it gives me character.

I am the Struggle Bus. I am the reason you spilt a smoothie on your white pants before that meeting with your boss today. You know, the meeting where said smoothie-pants smelled up the entire 3rd floor conference room and people just looked at you as if you were a puppy who peed on the rug. I picked you up from that meeting too… except…..PS. You left your keys on the passengers seat and I have zip ties for door handles- so good luck on getting those back. I’m pretty innovative with zip ties.

I am the Struggle Bus. Everyone rides me from time to time. I am usually taking brand new moms to their baby’s first doctor appointment, you know, the one where the doctor freaks you out about everything and then you cry because your baby lost more than 10% of its body weight. Or sometimes I come and pick you up right after a night of intense drinking, I do that for a lot of people. Maybe that’s why I smell?

I know what your thinking. Why the hell would you want to ride the stinky-cat-engine Struggle Bus when you COULD ride the Easy Train? Cause the Easy Train is pretty sweet. Usually you ride it when you have more than twenty bucks for the week and clean pants. And the Easy Train is nice, actual seat cushions, and it doesn’t even stink!

But everyone gets to ride the Struggle Bus, it’s a right of passage. The type of lesson that makes taking the Easy Train feel remarkable. Rides that detour at “Get Your Life Together” and “How to Adult” Avenue. I don’t want you not to like me just because I am not “as nice” as the Easy Train- after all, he doesn’t have the life experience I do. I know I kind of stink, and I know the seats are sticky sometimes, but I have so many lessons to teach you. So please, next time you’re riding the good ole Struggle Bus, try to be appreciative of the things you do like, or think about how everyone has a turn on the Bus. It shouldn’t be viewed as a bad thing, but just another learning experience, a part of life.

Love always,

Struggle Bus.

How To Save Yourself | Adultish

Have you ever had those days when you’re ten points past a healthy level of exhaustion? When all of your thoughts are swimming in your head at an unbelievable pace and you can’t think straight. The days when work clothes feel like a thousand pounds and deadlines are looming over your head? What do you want usually? A glass of wine, a movie, pizza, alone time to do “the dirty”, or maybe just take a nap- because let’s be real you need a shower.

If there’s one thing I have learned it’s that you are the only person that can save you- and no I am not talking about religion. I am talking about listening to your soul, your core, your deepest desires of what your mind and body needs- and then acting on those needs! When you are tired and achy in every way possible- these are the ways to save yourself.

Lifesaving. Tip- Numero Uno

STOP.

No really, just stop. Stop what your doing, stop what you’re thinking and just be. Listen to your breath, listen to what you know is true. Re calibrate your mind to all things right and pleasant. Listen to the birds, watch the rain fall, feel the wind. Consume yourself with the things that are not complicated. Just stop- and be.

Lifesaving tip- Zwei

Figure out what the issue or stress is- and make a plan. Because even though it would be awesome if things randomly fixed themselves, that’s totally not how life works. Instead we have to recognize that there’s an issue, come to terms with how we feel, figure out why we feel that way- and then kick ass and solve life’s shit. A goal with out a plan is just a wish.

Lifesaving tip- 3

This is actually like 47 tips in one, but when used together can raise the dead (dead-ish). When you’re dead and dying, go take a shower. Take your make up off, shave your body to naked mole rat status, clean your ears out- get yourself cleaned and revamped. Then go put on pajamas, or leggings (because there’s a difference, okay. Leggings *can* be pajamas, but they aren’t a generalized “pajama” article of clothing). And now, veg. Watch YouTube, lay on the couch and watch Netflix- recharge in any and every way possible.

You see, we are “dead” a lot.  We need to be “saved” or put back together, have a little R&R time and time again- and that’s okay! The most amazing things will happen when you learn that you can save yourself. You won’t stress as easily, because you’ll know there’s a remedy. You will be less likely to drive yourself into the ground because you will be in tune when things feel off kilter. And most importantly, well… you won’t be dead.

Happy Magnifying Divorce Day

I know, I know, so dramatic… But wowza watching the flowers pour in at work even the day before Valentine’s day got me all emotional… and pissed. And for reasons that I can’t even say I understand- yet here we are, emotional and pissed. Now the weirdest part of this is that it’s not like my husband really did a lot for me when it came to Valentine’s day, or even my birthday for that matter. So I shouldn’t be upset at all, it should really just be another day, another year of not getting something. BUT it just seems like everything is magnified and emotions are high and I just want to walk around with two middle fingers up all day. Too bad that’s not even in the realm of “Professional Behavior”.

 

Then people who I do tell about how I feel just say that Valentine’s Day just say that it’s “a made up holiday anyway, just don’t think about it”. But it’s not Valentine’s Day I hate, it’s just the reminder that at some point I was in love, and said vows promising to love someone till death do us part- or really until my husband just decided he wanted a divorce and BOOM, marriage over. OY!

 

But I will just swim in all the Celine Dion songs ever made, eat my own chocolate and wear pink anyway.

 

Oh, but F-U Valentines Day. J