So I might have been keeping a secret from you all, and that secret is my pending Cancun trip! Well, that and the fact that I have been slacking majorly at Adultish, and my laundry for that matter. We are in a term break at the university I work at, things stand still academically and I stand still even more knowing in two weeks time I will be living in a bathing suit, drink in hand on the beaches of Cancun with Vegas Friend. So, I mean can you blame me for abandoning all of life’s responsibilities? I think not.
The flight to Cancun is going to murder me. We depart a little after 7pm, and land somewhere in between reality and Cancun at midnight for a 6 hour layover until 6am. Most of my thoughts so far have been contemplating how I can try to not be a raging bitch since I will be sleep deprived and cooped in an airport for way longer than what should be legal. The last flight I went on was hellacious. I was with my ex husband and three seconds after we got in the air the captain let us know the air conditioner wasn’t working. We were flying from Texas and it was hot as snot. My phone died, the lights were off and I couldn’t read the book I brought. I was three seconds from a millennial meltdown. So I have vowed to not be in the same situation this excruciatingly long flight (so help me god).
In thinking about what I could do on the plane to make the time go faster (though I am praying to the plane gods I can just sleep) I found you can download movies straight from Netflix. Winner winner, chicken dinner. I downloaded a few, some I think I will like, and then some I think Vegas Friend “wouldn’t mind watching”. Plus, downloading more music to my phone in case my iPad dies (oh, the humanity). Vegas Friend will have his iPad too, plus our phones and we will both have external charging battery things.
I am the super anxious, OCD, anal type of personal that is thinking about if it’s too dark to watch a movie and what if I don’t want to listen to music- so I think I will bring about 97 books, you know, just in case.
I did, true to Adultish fashion, spend an unnatural amount of money on Amazon for headphones with cushy ear “pads?” And a blanket scarf; what if I am cold. I can’t be cold.
As far as outfits- this is where things get interesting. I bought “the cutest” bikini TOP at H&M. They didn’t have the bottoms in store… so no big deal at all, I thought. Walmart always has bathing suit bottoms for like $5. HAH. WRONG. NO. INCORRECT. Vegas Friend and I have been to 39 stores looking for ONE pair of WHITE BIKINI BOTTOMS, that do not exist. All my millennial self wanted was one new bathing suit to wear in Cancun on my birthday, but nooooooo said the universe.
So here we are, going to Cancun with our two iPads, chargers, blanket scarves, pounds of sunscreen and bikini on top, nude on bottom outfit.
We all know what this means, more Amazon shopping. I have even been Pinterest-ing the “perfect” carry on items. I got a small over the shoulder black purse- room enough for my phone, passport and money. The suitcase I have was a wedding gift (bahahahhah) and it’s the kind that comes with 5 and they cocoon in each other. Dying laughing that I snagged the luggage and now I am taking it on a trip to Cancun with Vegas Friend.
My entire plan is to bring divorce suitcase, my backpack, and my small new purchase purse. The purse can fit into my backpack, then I am hands free and good to go!
Despite my total first world problems and jokes of nudity (though, idk, might be more than a joke if I can’t find bottoms). I am really excited for Cancun, a vacation, and meh- I guess for my birthday too. Birthdays have always been a hard one for me. Once EDF got me dish soap for my birthday. Last year on my birthday the ex and I got in a huge argument where even his mom got involved and text me her dissatisfaction with my attitude (attitude where it was my bday and my husband did nothing, said nothing, made zero plans, not even a card). My 23rd birthday was spend at Mom/Ass Kickers painting walls (with little to no ventilation…. high, we basically got high).
My anxiety does creep in a bit. I have never been out of the country. I am a little nervous about if my phone will work, and the ability to have conversations with Ass Kicker. But I am more than certain that once I am in Cancun, and intoxicated, that I won’t care all that much.
If you wonderful people have travel tips, let a girl know. And if you think I am crazy- yes, you are totally correct.