If I’m Being Honest |Adulting is Hard

Then I would say a lot of things that would make you think differently.

Because honestly I have no clue what I am doing in my life. And honestly I almost quit 7 times today. And I want to find some sort of happiness in the day and wine seems like it would do that. I want to go to sleep and have a dance party at the same time. I want to buy all of the things that I have seen lately because society tells me that it brings joy.

But honestly I am just writing a blog, doing laundry and watching my phone blow up about things I don’t care to read. Honestly I won’t drink a sip of wine because I know it doesn’t solve shit. Honestly I am blasting some weird song that has an appreciative amount of bass while contemplating eating nutella for dinner.

And honestly I have succulents and cereal in my trunk, a sock on my table and not a care in the world.

If I am being honest then I have grown so so much. I asked Mom/ Ass Kicker if I could dye my hair black and get my nose pierced. She said no… But I think I would. And maybe get a tattoo. Buy tarot cards, more crystals and a magic 8 ball because it brings me joy.

The journey of finding yourself is really weird when you start to change all over again. Everyday I want to be at the beach and blast music, everyday I want to paint or run 52 miles. I just W A N T so much- and not a person or any particular thing- but experience.

I want to go travel some more this year. I have no upcoming trips planned and I think I need to change that.

Today at work I got so frustrated with a huge project (magically due today) that one of the Program Directors made me tea (she’s British and tea fixes everything). She said if this is you frustrated I would have never known- you’re still calm, quiet and chipper. And it kind of brought me back to reality. No matter what I “feel” has changed about me, it doesn’t change the ME inside. I am still kind, caring and strangely obsessed with English Breakfast tea.

And honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

6 thoughts on “If I’m Being Honest |Adulting is Hard

  1. Happiness is something which you feel from inside. Doing things which shall make you feel happy from outside are worthless. Making a change is all dependent on your mindset ! You can control and manipulate them for sure ! And yes agreed. Change is a must ! Change is a law of nature ! Your willingness to get tattooed or get your nose pierced is legit!
    Loved the way you write
    Enjoyed reading
    🙂

    Liked by 2 people

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