I can’t say I “have insomnia” because I’ve yet to make a doctors appointment and be technically labeled an insomniac. But…. I never sleep. For weeks I’ve been sleeping MAYBE 3.5 hours a night. I really don’t even know how I’m alive. I wake up and when I can’t go back to sleep I become really irritable and annoyed. So instead I usually will just get up and get some things done.
Which brings me to- Things You Do At 3AM!
1. Take a foreverly long shower where you shave your entire body to naked-mole-rat-status.
2. Color coordinate your socks- if you own socks. I have like 3 pair and they are all patterned so this doesn’t work for me- but it might for you!
3. Do laundry- because you need clean underwear.
4. Make a grocery list.
5. Put a face mask on and rock out to some music.
6. Reorganize your dresser (for the 7th time)
7. Do your taxes. Because it’s the law. (Is it? Idk. But the IRS is real- so just do them #TurboTaxForTheWin)
8. Contemplate life and all the things you want to accomplish.
9. Make a new list of goals for the month/ week.
10. Clean out your fridge (you filthy animal).
But here are the actual things you do at 3AM-
1. Roll over in bed for the 76th time.
2. Scower instagram, even though there’s no new updates because all of the normal people are asleep.
3. Think about that one email you didn’t respond to.
4. Stress about life as we know it and question when you became an adult.
5. Contemplate going to IHOP because you’re starving.
6. Stick one leg out of the blanket- maybe you’re too hot.
7. Put the leg back in the blanket, monsters are real and they will get that leg.
8. Start to become frustrated when you realize you’re up for good and your whole day will consist of you devouring coffee at an abnormal rate.
9. Regret all the naps you didn’t take as a child.
10. Google “ways to fall asleep” until you stumble across some memes and start texting your friends said memes.