How To Be A Good Adult When You’ve Had A Shitty Childhood.

No but seriously.

One thing that I hear all the time about people who have made some bad choices is that “they had a bad childhood” or “they didn’t have a dad”. My favorite is “hurt people hurt people”. While these things may be true, why do we let them be the norm?

Let me break it down for you. When I was younger I looked up statistics for girls who had been raped or molested. Based on those studies girls who were sexually abused were at a far higher risk of falling into the path of teenage pregnancy, prostitution, or drug addiction. It almost seemed like the statistics were there to cushion the blow of “accepted behavior”. Moreover, the children who were raised in homes with domestic violence and drug addition were more likely to repeat those patterns. Why? Because those people never healed from their abuse.

Every day I could let the fact that I had a seriously shit childhood affect me. I could choose to sleep around, or do drugs, I could become an absolute ass to those around me because “I had a rough childhood”. But I don’t. It’s a poor, poor excuse and a lousy attempt to do what you want with out reprocussion.

So I do the opposite.

I use my childhood as a “How NOT To” book.

Because of my childhood I am also an ultra sensitive person and I never want anyone to feel like I am upset or disappointed in them- because I hated feeling that as a child.

Truly what this all comes down to is being mindful of what you say and do to other people. It is easy to be kind- but it is not always second nature. We are innately selfish. We want for ourselves and that’s how we filthy animals were created. But we are also called to love, and have patience and understanding.

This is also true for one of my other peeps- who must remain nameless for the sake of privacy and respect. This person also had a freaktasticly horrible childhood. We have compared notes- the struggle was real. But you know what? This person is one of the kindest, most loving and understanding humans I have ever met in my life! Why? Because we were given the “How NOT to” book by our parents.

So all of this to say that JUST FREAKING BE NICE TO OTHER PEOPLE DANG IT- said nicely of course. 🙂

We all choose our own destiny. We can choose to be jerks, choose to repeat patterns, choose to settle for a crappy life because of things that have happened to us. OR. We can choose to be kind, to be different, to be loving, and to break shit cycles.

SO DO IT!

 

4 thoughts on “How To Be A Good Adult When You’ve Had A Shitty Childhood.

      1. I think I’m sorry in advance before reading it for all you have been through. I had to fight for custody and raise two of my siblings and long story short my parents disowned me 😔 through it all though it has made me stronger and I am not the child they abused any longer. I am glad we met my friend 🙂 I love your blog!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. DAWWWW. You’re so sweet. I could not imagine having custody of siblings. I guess “thankfully” my siblings and I were 3 years apart. When I did move to California though my brother was hurt big time that I didn’t take him. But I was 18 and there was no way. You and I are twins.

        Liked by 1 person

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