I swear I’m not eating poop….


Mom/Asskicker told me about these Energy Balls (haha, I said balls) she found on Pinterest and I had to make them. Her comment was “Omg, you will love these” so obviously I had to dive into the assumption that these would be magical.

There’s only a few ingredients in them, oatmeal, honey, peanut butter, chocolate chips and shredded coconut. DONE. I knew I had everything but the shredded coconut and chocolate chips so I went to Vons and picked some goodness up.

This was supposed to be an easy recipe mind you… So I am in Vons for approximately 15 seconds before I learn there is eighteen trillion varieties of shredded coconut. I mean, I am 23, I am a grown up, I know how to make quinoa for goodness sake… but I can’t figure out which overpriced bag of shredded coconut to get. Oy. So I, in all the adult like maturity I could muster, called Mom/Ass Kicker. I believe my exact words were something along the lines of “There are 7654 varieties of coconut and I don’t know what I am doing with my life”. She basically deserves an Emmy… made of coconut shreds.

So anyway, I got home and pulled out all of the ingredients… except wait. I have only the side scrapings from the peanut butter jar, approximately 2 teaspoons… (I needed 1/2 a cup). I have oatmeal but not oats, (yep you guessed it, totally text Mom/Asskicker and asked if they were the same), barely enough honey and oh wait- I’m supposed to TOAST the coconut flakes?

“easy” yeah, Oooooookay. Eyeroll everywhere.

So I made an absolute mess in the kitchen and flung the rest of the honey out, substituted peanut butter for Nutella (cause why the hell not… goo of the gods!), and with the most caution of my life stuck theshredded coconut in to toast…

3 seconds later the entire house smells like coconut and I am trying to manage the hot shredded coconut pan and a mouthful of Nutella.

I get all of my step-child ingredients incorporated and realize I am going to have to stick my hands in this mess to make the balls. One by one I roll little balls until I have about 16 (also, are serving sizes ever correct? Yields 2 dozen? My Ass.) I look at my hands and they look like I was 100% rolling poop balls. But they tasted amazing. Drool.

Maybe if you aren’t me then these are super easy to make… but in the Adultish world I live in they were basically just a disaster waiting to happen. To be totally truthful I started to compare life a lot to these poop energy balls. So many times we have excellent intentions and a master plan of how we are going to live our life. But, trust me, it rarely works out the way you think it will. You plan on marriage, and kids, and being a millionaire that drives a Tesla (okay, that wasn’t my dream, but you get the picture). Life unfolds differently though and you don’t have the husband to fit in, or the relationships you used to. You make adjustments to things that won’t fit your lifestyle (or things you thought you had at the grocery store… ugh) and sometimes things turn out for the better!

Sometimes you just have to wing it, be it life or poop balls.


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