My Goal…

I feel like I am working on a lot of things right now, some bigger than others. All these things do have the same end goal though- Self Growth. I have wanted to do several things for such a long time, but I never committed myself to those things. This is a new time though, where I am doing more scary and new things everyday, and really growing into myself. Basically, these are the things I am committing to doing to better myself (so please, someone help!).

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Finances- I am working really hard to get a hold of my finances, and I will have a blog coming up on how exactly I went from having maybe $70 and no place to live, to putting a nice down payment on a car, having a savings account and paying rent in full in just 4 months. With finances goes my credit score. Now when I was younger someone stole my identity and racked up a ton of money with different companies so I started out with deplorable credit. Then turned 18 and racked up my own credit card bill. Fast forward to 5 years and a marriage later I am working hard at getting things turned around. I have a credit card I use every month, and pay off every month.

Eating healthy- This is the hardest for me. I am blessed with a wicked high metabolism, but my goodness all I ever want to eat is junk! I think chemically I crave sugar and soda, and then before you know it I’ve consumed 3 jumbo bags of Halloween candy (okay, maybe I am exaggerating a tiny bit). Along with eating healthy is simply EATING. I am really horrible at remembering to eat. I know a lot of people think that is so weird but I just do not remember to eat, and I get “hungry” but I can ignore it. My roommate, Mom/Ass Kicker, Vegas Friend, and all of my coworkers hound me about eating- and I am really thankful because otherwise I would legit just forget. So I have made it a rule that every hour or two I eat something, be it macaroni, or a kind bar, maybe even my infamous watermelon I always bring into work- I know I need to eat, and I try to consciously set a food alarm to do so.

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Drinking Water- So this one I give all the props to one of my coworkers (let’s call her Twinsie). Twinsie decided that every hour at work (8 hours) we would get up and fill a 8oz cup with water and drink it. Doing this we reach the 8-8oz of water a day recommendation, and it flushes out all of the 98765 cups of coffee I drink throughout the day as well. Also, TMI, but drinking so much water also means that you are going to the bathroom much more, which is also something I am notoriously known for not doing (just don’t have time to eat OR pee I guess. Oy).

My Blog- I have started a blog so many times before. I thought that I had a great concept and that I knew exactly where I wanted it to go. Every time I started the blog I didn’t know what to call it, and the things I would write about I ended up being too embarrassed or scared to share. Though now it doesn’t seem like any of that matters. My Mom/Ass Kicker and I talked about me starting a blog just for the shock value of how much I have gone through. Though I never had the courage to do it. I was married and most of the things I wanted to write about were marriage based- and that wasn’t fair to him. I never want to bash, upset, or spot light anyone on my blog. So I never did it. Well, I take that back. I did start a blog at one point, I even paid like $60 for a custom domain (that I don’t remember and just really hope isn’t on auto renewal!). But then one night in Texas I thought “I should do that blog” and just grabbed my laptop and did it. I didn’t tell anyone I was going to, and I had no idea really what I was going to say. I wanted something that didn’t cost any thing, and was commitment free (that’s the dirty “C” word after divorce). So I legit googled “start a blog” and boom- wordpress. instantly I knew the name had to be “To Be Adult…ish” because that’s who I am. Half adult, half “wtf am I doing?!”. I am trying to figure out how to pay bills, and not freak out with raw sushi at the same time. Once I did start this blog I had so much to say about everything, and I still do. I write whenever I want, about whatever I want. A lot of it is therapy for me. I think a lot of it is therapy for the people who read it too. I get so many messages and texts saying how you love my blog, or how you felt the same way through your divorce. I have had people say “I read the blog you wrote about depression… I think I am depressed too… What do I do?”. I have had people say that they feel like they know me because of how honest and real I am.

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School- My employer offers 90% tuition deduction if you choose to attend college again. So when I heard about this, I was pretty intrigued. But then the fear of my intelligence, if I could handle the time management portions and the extra financial obligation scared me. I still did it though. Bought a laptop, signed up, and got an A in my first class. I am working towards getting my degree in psychology (gee, I wonder why). I have had to learn that even if I want to have fun, or go out of town- I still HAVE to do my homework. School doesn’t go on vacation just because you do. I sacrifice my weekends to homework. My lunch breaks I either write for the blog or do something for a class I am in.

I know this might seem like a lot. But I have done so many things that I didn’t think I could lately. I have impressed myself. I have been stronger than I thought that I could. I have stood up for myself where I would have just coward. I have grown so much in just a few months.

One of my coworkers that I am close to, Tiger Lily, said to me “You are so different now. I have never seen someone lose so much in such a quick amount of time, and yet find themselves like you have. You are a different person now. In the way you walk, think. everything”. That is the goal- that is what I strive for.

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2 thoughts on “My Goal…

  1. I get lost on facebook trying to follow. I’d like to read start to finish. My facebook pops up what it wants and I miss some blogs. Is there a website I can go to do I can read start to finish?

    Liked by 1 person

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