So I have really debated how I want to address certain things on my blog. I can decide to leave everything PC and not “poke the bear” and upset people. But that just means that I am living my life to please someone else and I’m not that person anymore. I will never be that person again.
Basically, I am kind of a bitch. At least that’s what a lot of people call me. I don’t like bullshit, I don’t appreciate lies or petty people. I can’t stand dysfunction, or abuse. So I remove myself from those situations- if that means I’m a bitch then okie dokie. (hair flip)
I learned young that I didn’t want to surround myself with certain people. So when I moved to California I took that as an opportunity to severe ties. Reality, yes. Not having family here can be really hard. Holidays are lonely, and I choose not to call certain family members. My decision, my choice.
Here in my 20’s I have more “family not family” than I could have ever imagined. My roommate is half friend, half mom. I have another friend who is total mom/ass kicker. An “aunt” in TX who is such a great friend and mom. A friend/grandma/ mom in Texas who I love to shreds. I have select people who I trust beyond measure.
There’s not really a way to beat around the bush- my childhood was the epitome of garbage. However, I am almost grateful for the garbage because I appreciate the sweet souls I call family now. Now I love my grandparents and my brother and sister more than I can express, even if I don’t speak to them as often as I should. I am forever grateful for their guidance in my life. But they are not here, and even though I could move to TX… I could have some semblance of “family” there, my soul is tied here.
Plus, there are some crazy people in TX.
My roommate/friend/mom and I joke she is teaching me to be an adult. Sweet lessons like how to set up automatic bill pay, and that laundry on the floor isn’t going to get a plate thrown at my head.
My mom/ass kicker/friend teaches me some down right painful lessons that sometimes I think I might die from. (You think I am kidding, I am not). Lessons like caring less, not tolerating the BS, knowing my value and worth… and making sure I do my homework. Plus, she is extra good at reigning in the crazy emotional side of me when I am 99% emotion and 1% rational. #blessyourheart
Aunt/mom basically makes sure I am alive and safe. Cares that I am happy and have a roof over my head, double checks that I am not doing anything *totally* reckless in my life. And when I am she laughs and then says knock it off.
Friend/gramma/mom basically is my soul tie. For not being related to me, she’s known me since I was a young child and has guided me through all the craziness.
I think that the universe is making up for my first 18 years with some pretty amazing people now.
“Friends are the family you get to choose for yourself”