Let’s paint a picture, shall we. You know those super cute wrap dresses that are all the rage right now? Basically a bath towel with a string in the midsection that’s supposed to stay nice… More
Hello lovelies, and welcome back to Adultish! Now as you know if you’ve been following my blog for any amount of time I am about as anxious as they come. I’m talking I can’t tie my shoes if I am hesitant about my breakfast choice kind of anxious. Anxiety is such a complex “thing” (let’s not call it a disorder just to be nice). Nicculent has done an amazing job at outlining what anxiety is, and how to tell if you have it. This is a collaboration we have worked hard on and to get the full effect make sure you check out her blog on this as well! In this blog we will talk about ways to manage your anxiety… and let me tell you, I have definitely found some tricks along the way!
Firstly, I think it’s really important to come to terms with the idea that you are anxious. I don’t believe in hiding your feelings and hoping they will go away. That’s the equivalent of putting a blanket over a pile of laundry and pretending it’s folded- while we have all been guilty, we are just lying to ourselves.
Now that you know you’re an anxious little bundle of emotions, try to rationally think about what it is that’s making you anxious. Take your anxiety as an opportunity to reevaluate your current situation and ask yourself what could be done to resolve the problem. This takes a tremendous effort to step outside of the “feelings” box you are in and enter a happier place.
This happy place can be whatever you want it to be. Think beach, forest, at home with your partner, with your parents, or alone in a bath tub with a bottle of wine (guilty). When you become anxious think about this happy place, it will lower your heart rate and allow your thoughts to swim a bit slower so you can actually *think* about what is going on.
While you are rationally thinking about your life and visualizing yourself in a tub as big as the Ganges river, your thoughts can either be happy or good. Usually when we are anxious we are also mean to ourselves. Thoughts like “why didn’t I do this, ugh so stupid!” swim around and that hammers us into an even more anxious little ball of emotion. Instead of letting your “mean voice” control the scene, allow the positive voice to come into play. Think “I know this didn’t go as planned, but what can I do now.”. When we think negatively we charge the vicious cycle of anxiety. When we think positively, we calm the cycle, we ground ourselves and become more realistic in our thinking.
Now of course not everything is that easy, and it takes a very strong mind and heart to implement these steps as they are mentally challenging. But what you already know about anxiety is that certain things will serve as triggers to your anxiety. For me, I am most anxious when my apartment isn’t clean, or when I don’t get enough sleep. Situations out of my control that make me anxious is when I think someone is mad at me. These things I might not have complete control over and to think my apartment can be immaculate at all times is just a psychotic thought I have given up on. So instead, I learned to change my approach. If I think someone is mad at me, I rationally think if I have upset them, and even if I have, I tell myself I can not allow it to steal my joy.
It’s not like everytime you are experiencing severe anxiety that you have to play along with these mind game mentioned above. Sometimes you need a quicker, more realistic “fix’. This is when I recommend the following:
- Talk to a friend, let them in, and maybe cry a little. It’s good for your soul and you will feel lighter- I pinky promise.
- Go for a walk outside. Sunshine helps with your mood so much, and getting your body moving will make your mind stop.
- EAT. Make sure you eat something throughout the day. I have noticed if I accidentally skimp on meals that my anxiety is 10x worse. I think it is the sugar crash.
- Write it out. Take all of your anxious little feelings and thoughts and give them another home other than your mind. As the words form on your paper let them stay there, and do not give them permission to come back into your thoughts.
- Talk to a doctor. When my anxiety and depression was at its worse I went to the doctor and was prescribed medicine that helped me SO much. I was still able to function, and it gave me the ability to live my life. When I got off the medicine I was left with a better understanding of which situations should instill anxiety and which one’s my brain was taking too far.
I hope this blog was helpful to someone! These were my tricks along the way to becoming a less anxious person, and how I think I was able to really overcome being diagnosed with anxiety. I hope you check out Nicculents blog as well and show her some love!
Welcome back! Now, let’s get into the nitty gritty. I think I may be overdoing it this week, not going to lie. Here’s a break down of my week–
Monday- Work event- at work from 7am- 7:30pm.
Tuesday- At work at 6:30, proctor, 3 meetings and a crap ton of homework. Oh, and I need to make a diaper cake for Wednesday, work project #1 due.
Wednesday- Baby shower I planned for two people. Food, decorations, 4 hours of set up and countless email. Homework due. You need to grocery shop.
Thursday- proctor, work on collab blog, clean up Stan The Man/ Boy Friend Not Boyfriends house for his pending arrival, big work project #2 due, set up for another work event.
Friday- Work event, homework due, collab blog due, work project #3 due, death.
I just want to know why I said “yes” to the diaper cake. I’ve gotta learn to say no! But let’s be real; the diaper cake isn’t stressing me out, it’s just the work load right now.
In other fascinating news, ToBeAdultish now has a Facebook page! And a Twitter! And needs a nap!!
All of the work stress and starting a new class on Monday has affected my sleep- I am dreaming I am at work and alligators are coming to class. What?!
I found gluten free donuts and they taste just like I would imagine fairy dust to taste like, only with the slightest hint of cardboard.
I have shaved my legs everyday this week, and yet missed a spot every single time. How does this happen?
It was 113 degrees the other day and I melted.
That’s your beautifully summarized coffee talk this week my lovely friends. Stay tuned for something super great to happen on Friday!!
Hello you fancy people, you. Welcome back to another Coffee Catch up, by yours truly. If you are new to the blog feel free to catch up, no pun intended, with my last two Coffee Catch Up blogs or you might be confused! These Coffee Catch Ups are a time where I get to just word vomit all over and explain what I am been doing and sharing any new life developments/ midlife (24-year-old) life crisis.
In my last Coffee Catch Up I was on quite the high from seeing CELINE DION, and yes, every time I type her name it will be in caps lock. If she doesn’t deserve caps, then who does? It’s been exactly a month since I saw CELINE DION and I don’t think a day has gone by that I haven’t immersed myself in her songs. Because I am obsessed. And the first step to overcoming a problem, if that’s what we are calling it, is to admit you have a problem.
In new developments, we have a big one! I have officially become Gluten Free, and not really of my liking. I miss cookies so much it hurts. Long story short I have had a lot of issues with my diet, in particular bloating. Now this isn’t like “you ate too much salt” kind of bloating. No. This is “Oh my god how did you go to lunch and come back 6 months pregnant?!” bloating. So I started to really watch what I ate and realized if I ate fruits, veggies and meat that I felt totally fine after a meal! But the moment I tried to have pizza, a burger, even a piece of cake I would get so bloated. As slightly bummed as I am to know that, on some level I probably have a gluten intolerance, I have to admit it’s nice to be able and eat and not feel sick. I have yet to really research any good gluten free recipes and I am living on recommendations and a meat, cheese, veggie and fruit diet right now because it’s quick and easy. So if you have any recipes or tips and tricks you could offer up, please let me know. I am kind of constantly hungry right now.
Vegas Friend is once again out of town. In a recent conversation between the two of us I decided to no longer call him Vegas Friend… In real life I rarely even call him by his real name. I started to call him Schnookums, and just as an FYI, he doesn’t like that name either. So I thinking I will start to refer to him as Stan The Man. At work I have just started to say “boyfriend” because I don’t really want to share with the Director of Finance how my FWB relationship turned a completely different way. And plus, “Vegas Friend” IS THE MAN. Like holy crap. He’s awesome. He makes me laugh, cheers me up, teaches me somewhat valuable life lessons like putting air in my tires and accompanies me on 97% of the meals I eat. As far as I am concerned he is pretty legit, and deserves a name more than just “Vegas Friend” because truthfully, I am at his house every weekend. I go over there after work, we usually have lunch together, I help with Bonus Kid and we do more than just go to Vegas Together.
Lastly, a school update. I am two days away from finishing off a class, hopefully with an A. I am proud that I was able to keep up with Adultish, school, and not become a COMPLETE wreck. Though there were days it was a little hit or miss.
As always, thank you guys so much for stopping by! I hope you enjoy these little blogs where I catch you up on my craziness.
Every night I meet the stars at 1am and I start the dance I know too well.
Tossing with sheets and trips to the bathroom, making a to do list and checking notifications.
Every night is the same and my mind spills out a thousand words in the notes section of my phone, never to be seen.
I douse myself in lavender, cling to my crystals and turn on soothing music but my mind continues to race of that one email I didn’t reply to and thoughts of impending doom if I somehow fall asleep again and find myself late to work, only compounding my list and ensuring I forget another email.
Mental questions of what I am doing and how I am doing it.
Maybe I am too rough with myself, striving for all that can be done and yet still not satisfied.
So I Pinterest moon quotes, maybe I will find solace in the spoken words of other insomniacs.
Maybe I have lost me in all the searching I have done to be whole.
What if me is not whole at all but rather fragments of people I was in the past.
I am a twinge of divorced, a sprinkle of 24 and barely making it, a dash of ass kicker/moms hopes of my life and a whirlwind of questions from BK such as “what is a douchebag”.
My phone is filled with unanswered texts.
Not because I don’t care, but because I am lost as to a reply.
I don’t know what to do about your relationship and I can’t tell you ten more times to leave.
I don’t know if I want to go to church with you because I never sleep I have hopes one day I will, and that’ll likely be on a Sunday.
So instead, meet me where I am, at 3 am with a cup of coffee in my blog comments or at my door.
Bring coffee to me at work and understand when I cant “stay a while”.
Realize I have 7 hours of homework and a ten page paper due and meet me in grace when I feel unsure if I am really smart enough.
Know if I don’t respond it’s not out of malice, but the more likely scenario that I forgot or just don’t know what to say.
Understand our life paths are completely different and I am not being rude, rather practical.
Don’t blame my unavailability on what you think is depression or anxiety because I am doing quite well right now, thank you.
Ask if I have eaten and bring be food anyway because I am likely lying and too busy to stop.
Hug me when you see me and hold me tight and maybe I will take a break.
Bring chocolate with bad news and bring a smile if you need a favor.
Bring your whole self and I’ll bring mine and we can meet somewhere in the middle of expectation and reality.
If you didn’t already know I have a mild obsession with getting my life together and staying organized. I have written several blogs about GYSTing and just getting your life together in general, I will link them down below in case you’re in a stalking mood. One thing that I really love to do is set goals for each month. June was a good month, I got a lot of stuff done and went to Vegas- so really, who could complain? We are already SEVEN months into 2018; how did this even happen?
Now some months I have extravagant goals like building a pyramid out of butter, but this month I am taking it easy, relatively.
My first goal is to continue to save money. I have a few extra things coming up that will add income to my life. My goal for 2018 was to have X amount of money saved up, and July is going to be a huge stepping stone to accomplish that goal. If I don’t spend it all on food first.
Second, I mentioned a few blogs ago I wanted to start taking vitamins, well I bought them… and for maybe two weeks took them. So now the goal is to CONSISTANTLY take vitamins. Why is this so hard for me?
I need to buy tires. Probably don’t NEED to buy them this month but everytime I drive I am reminded I need to buy them and it’s stressing me out. This will be the month.
Selfishly, I have decided I need a little more “me” time. I have also really gotten back into reading again so I am making it a goal to finish a book this month. I know that doesn’t seem hard at all, but with a full time job, full time school, blog, and extreme anxiety and OCD, completing a book seems like a dream to me.
I want to schedule posts 2/week on Adultish. I did to the May Blog A Day (31 blogs straight) so I *should* be able to write two a week… but for some reason this just seems daunting!
And then, random as hell, my last goal is just weird. I just want to remember to put lotion on everyday. It’s dry and hot here, okay?
As you can tell, these goals are for sure easier than some of my other ones- but these are the things I want to focus on. I’m weird, I know.
I’m not sure if you’ve heard of the book “The Power Of Now”, written by Eckhart Tolle. I hadn’t heard of it until Kayln Nicholson mentioned it in a few of her social media platforms, and on this video. I made mention to Ass Kicker/Mom one day about the book and a few hours later at her house- BOOM THE BOOK!
I am really enjoying the book. I wouldn’t call it a fast read simply because every sentence I am internalizing and trying to make it resonate with what my brain currently thinks.
I feel like there is only two things to do, like above. Either you leave situations that you are not happy with, or you accept it. Because staying in that situation is ridiculous. You either decide enough is enough and you change your physical place in that situation, or you work inwardly to accept the situation for what it is. But what sense would it make for a lion to be in an area with no food, when it could simply walk a bit and find food? Don’t make yourself a victim to circumstances, instead, be victorious.
You know that old saying “misery loves company”? Well, it’s true; misery loves misery! Think about this, if you are upset with something it’s almost nice to be upset and angry. For some reason deep down we like to feel full of emotion, regardless of if it is negative or positive. When someone makes you mad you tell your friend, and you gripe about it, harp on it for a few hours, maybe even start drama because of it. But why? The next time you are upset, don’t let that problem consume you, why would you give something so trivial the power to steal your joy? If you are consciously aware of what your mind is thinking versus what you know the truth to be you will catch yourself in this downward spiral.
Can I get an amen? Obviosly this entire book is about “NOW” hence the title, but this rings so true. If you don’t do something now, then you do it later… until you do something else later, and the first thing becomes never. Do not let things get away from you, from the now, because all there is, is NOW.
This plainly states the difference between learning from mistakes, and emotionally becoming consumed with them. Now, if I step on a cricket and accidentally kill it I will learn from that mistake to watch where I am walking. Boom, done. If I step on a cricket and I kill it and then I stay in bed for 6 days thinking about the baby crickets who no longer have a mom and how I am forever the cricket killer, that is a problem. I am giving into emotions and making more of a situation than what is, I am essentially, stealing from the now and feeding into psychological time where it is not edifying to myself, or my goals, it’s only hindering me, but remembering the concept above, providing a false feeling of comfort.
I mean…. mind blown. Here’s the thing, I believe that deep down we already have all the answers we are asking for, we just don’t know we do. Everything you need to know, you do! You’ve learned it in other situations or from other people, your soul screams it’s desires and you listen in ways you might not expect, but you already know everything- you just have to trust yourself.
This is the most mind blowing part in my opinion. If have depression or anxiety you know that little voice all too well. It just never shuts up! But that voice is not you, that’s just the voice. It’s not you. And you have the power to shut that voice off. Once you can grasp that concept in your mind, your entire life will change! I will agree that is a hard concept to grasp, especially because the voice in your head right now is saying “yeah right, you can’t do that”. But you can and I really think it’s the secret to accomplishing your goals or conquering fears.
So there you have it, I hope your mind is officially WTF-ed. Because mine is. But I couldn’t not share these things with you because I really think this book is 100% life changing and I am actually a little jelly I didn’t write it myself, to be honest.
**This blog contains a link that I could, potentially, make a few cents on. Know you don’t have to buy this book, but it does support Adultish, and besides me really appreciating it, I am happy to see how your life changes from this book as well. **
Well Well Well my internet friends, I was nominated TWICE to do the Get To Know Me Tag. I’ve written a lot about myself on this blog both here and here so feel free to internet stalk those blogs for a clearer understanding of just how obsessed I am with random things in life.
I’ve been meaning to write another blog about random things, so this worked out just in time!
Afraid of heights? Depends…. Am I hovering 87,000 feet in the air above man eating fish or am I in a penthouse sweet? Cause there’s a difference!
Best feature- I have really slender arms that reach into the smallest nooks and crannies of the printers at work. It’s a hidden skill, really.
My favorite ice cream is orange sherbet. I know. It’s not even ice cream.
Favorite musician- CELINE
Favorite town/city- Palm Springs probably.
Tattoos? Nope. I’m WAY to scared of pain.
Good coke- Let’s just say I would rather just go out to eat. I CAN cook. I just don’t have the desire to.
I go to bed at or before 10pm everyday. Even on the weekend. I just can NOT hang.
My favorite thing to do on the weekend is sit on the living room floor with BK and eat hot cheetos and listen to her funny kid stories, and then we freak out about how fiery our mouths feel.
I feel like it takes me considerably longer to go through hair or body products than it takes other people. Maybe cause I am the size of a 5 year old?
As much as I think working from home would be cool, I also think I would go INSANE.
I am the person in the summer heat still wearing a sweater. But at night I need it to be COLD or I just can not sleep.
Fajitas are my favorite thing of life right now. Give me all the bell peppers, onions and cilantro.
I am caught between 3 books right now and all I want to do is drink coffee and read all day long.
That’s all folks! If you have anything you’d like to know, or you would like me to answer- just let me know. These blogs are always fun to write.