Last year on June 22nd was the day the divorce bomb dropped. You can read all about that here. I didn’t think this day would be hard or bring up any emotions because I really… More
If you haven’t read the last coffee catch up, you might want to or you’ll be a smidge confused with this blog. We have a lot of important and “OH MY GOD COOL!!!!” things to talk about. Shall we?
First things first, we need to talk about how this meme is 112% me.
Second, Vegas Friend came home early from his stinky, smelly, camping trip. (And yes, that is Vegas Friends arm in my featured photo… that’s all you get Adultish Fam!) Hallelujah-praise-the-lord because he was D O N E. This meant my time with Tweety came to a halt and I had to go back to my house and resume life as we know it, sans hot tub. First world problems.
Work was a little more cray cray than usual, but we adulted and got stuff done. So come Thursday night I was SO FREAKING READY FOR THE WEEKEND. Since work was extra crazy with some extra hours my boss said I could leave early on Friday. I told Vegas Friend I was going to leave work early and we started talking about the weekend. One casual “we should just go to Vegas” turned into Vegas Friend getting a hotel room and…. are you even ready for this part?
TICKETS TO SEE CELINE DION.
The excitement was so real Ass Kicker Mom had to tell me to stop freaking out or I would pass out. Accurate. Thanks again mom thing.
This meant that all my weekend GYSTing and homework HAD to be done by time we left for Vegas. Thursday night was a LATE night. But that feeling of satisfaction knowing everything was done was worth it. I went to work in a state of pure excitement and I come 11am I left and we were straight on our way to Vegas and the beautiful Celine.. drool.
I didn’t get too many pictures of the performance, because honestly I was mesmerized the entire time. But I did get the most gorgeous hoodie that says “CELINE DION VEGAS” in glitter. What’s not to love. We went to see the movie Deadpool, and omg, Ryan Reynolds is too much for me.
Later Saturday Vegas Friend went to play slots and I went to our room to complete a nasty 93 question test for the class I’m in. Safe to say by time I finished I was ready for a drink! I got my trust Jack and Coke, which tasted just like hopes and dreams and we pressed that “repeat bet” button all night. At some point we walked down the strip and I got one of those huge 3 feet tall drinks. About two sips in I had a huge headache and ended up going back to the room and sleeping for about 5 hours while Vegas Friend played multiple rounds of solitaire.
Sunday we went to Raising Canes and had the most delicious chicken ever. Then the mandatory stop to Grand Luxe for beignets. We left Vegas to endure traffic at about 4pm and I got home about 9ish I think.
Then it was a question of going straight to bed or getting my life together. And I chose to get my life together. I worked on Adultish, unpacked from the trip, cleaned up a little, showered and did some homework. Crawled in bed at about midnight and 5am came way too soon.
But I am learning something awesome, that it’s totally possible to do EVERYTHING you want- you just have to be really smart about it. Most nights I get home about 8 or 9pm. I almost always want to just go to bed. But instead I make the conscious decision to be proactive instead of leave things for “tomorrow” (cause I never do it “tomorrow”). So the other night when I got home after work and 5 hours of sleep I put away the laundry I did, worked on the blog, did homework, cleaned out my fridge, filled out my planner, and did all the things. I am so much more productive at this point of my life than I have ever been in my life.
I also made this schedule in excel and I have found visually seeing my time is such a game changer. I use “flex” as free time, but this time is usually spent with Vegas Friend or staying at work later than usual.
I have been able to be more consistent with my goals this week of walking 10k steps and drinking water along with taking my vitamins.
Baby steps my friends… and this meme 🙂
Well, Fam. We made it. 31 blogs all in May Blog A Day and I’m pretty impressed with myself for writing them, and all of your loving support! We hit some great milestones this month with Adultish, more featured blogs, reblogs, over 1,000 likes AND Adultish grew by 60 amazing people!
I am floored by the constant support and love you all pour in to my blog, and how some of you guys have even followed me along the way to my vacation and given Vegas Friend and I ideas of things to do.
Now I am not going to lie, this was a little hard to do at times. Having a blog post go up every single morning without fail while juggling work, being in Cancun, on vacation- I learned a LOT!
I was really able to truly work on Adultish for a month straight.
I was able to see how much Vegas Friend supports Adultish by his patience to go to the one restaurant with service to publish blogs and respond to comments.
I learned my blog would only be half as cool if it weren’t for Vegas Friend and all the pictures he took.
But mostly I learned a lot about you guys! Having everyday interactions with you all introduced me to some amazing people.
:Nicculent: Brutal Honesty. Lots of it. You guys should already know I am in love with this blog based on the name alone. I love her writing style and, well, homegirls honest AF! It’s so refreshing to read something you can relate to on such a personal, and humorous level.
Cherishing Flo– So I feel like if Adultish had a younger sister, it would be this blog. She’s real, funny, sweet, totally relatable. Yeah. Adultish’s younger sis for sure.
Damn Girl, or DYGYST. Okay, if you don’t know about Damn Girl, then DAMN GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING. She’s basically blog witchcraft. She grew her blog so stinking quick, she’s hysterical, we have a somewhat similar shitty upbringing (I actually think she wins the race there) and her advise is spot on.
You guys know I am all about paying it forward to the bloggers that have inspired and supported me. But I also want to remain that platform for funny, uplifting, motivating and relatable blogs- and I think you will find that in these blogs as well.
Happy blog binging!
Welcome to a brand new segment of Adultish, what I am calling Coffee Catch-Up. If you didn’t already know, I have a mild addiction to coffee and I am not ashamed to say there are 5 unopened bottles of creamer in my fridge on standby. Okay “mild addiction” might be an understatement.
The idea of this new segment is to provide you all with a deeper view into my life, and how I am trying not to burn down my house and struggling to implement all 5 food groups into my daily life. It’s not going well so far.
This week is a little different than most. Vegas Friend is camping. Not like my kind of camping which includes hotels and showers, no. He’s going hard core and having to hike up a mountain just to send me a text about how bad he smells. Awe, so sweet. I am house sitting for him, and bird sitting for his sister. Tweet Tweet.
It’s Memorial Day weekend, and the only sustenance that holds is that I get to enjoy a 3 day weekend. I did tell Ass Kicker Mom that I was a little bummed since Vegas Friend is out of town, and I’m slightly family”less” here in California. But then I remembered I have pretty intense social anxiety and I only like about 6 people in real life. I would rather be in my pajamas hanging with Tweety and making the occasional emergency starbucks run anyway. White Girl gone wild.
I will tell you that Tweety and I have one thing in common, Celine Dion. I have physically injured myself belting out Celine Dion. Like the obsession is REAL. Tweety over here might be just as obsessed as I am, chirping loudly at all the right sappy spots of her songs. He also likes Lucy Neville’s “There’s Light” as well. It’s pretty flipping adorable.
A few months after the divorce I took a pretty substantial break from school, and I just started classes again this week. I am a little nervous on how to manage time, and if I am smart enough. But I just remind myself that there are people working on their PhD with kids, and I am just a worry wart and need to cool it.
I decided that I wanted to implement some daily goals (that so far I have failed terribly at). Things like drinking enough water, eating at every meal, taking vitamins, walking 10k steps a day and doing yoga everyday. So far I have taken my vitamins everyday at the same time I drink my coffee, and we all know I don’t skip coffee. As far as yoga, I’ve worn yoga pants everyday, does that count? I am just over a week back from vacation so maybe I will give myself a break.
I have, however, done something crazy amazing. I was thinking about how I could ensure I wouldn’t go out and randomly spend money. I decided to leave my debit and credit cards at home (I live 3 seconds from work and Vegas Friend lives 2 seconds from my work so in case of emergency I would be totally fine). I’ve had to run work eerands and where I would have seen a yummy lunch option and bought it I just stuck to what I originally brought for lunch because I COULDN’T buy it without a card. It’s actually been awesome and I haven’t spent any money at all! I do think I am going to take out some cash and keep it as mad money though because it was HARD come PMS time not to buy 756 pounds of chocolate. We made it through though. Barely. Vegas Friend was scared for his life at a time or two.
That about sums up this weeks insanity. Stay tuned to see what crazy things I do (or don’t do) next week. I gotta go dance with Tweety to Celine.
I know, “death” might seem strong. But what else should we call this? The happiest time of your life? That would just be a lie and chances are if you’re reading this blog it’s because someone already lied to you, or broke your heart, and you’re going through a breakup.
It didn’t dawn on me until today that hot damn I am over my divorce.
Not that it was “easy” by any means. I still went through the phase of not eating. I layed in bed and cried, was angry, and sad, then confused. And then one day, I was over it.
First things first, you need to talk about it. Get it out of your mind, and your body. When you talk about it you will cry (I mean, not like you haven’t cried enough) and eventually all of that pressure goes away.
Get some chocolate- or chips- or something to eat that you can’t usually resist- because chances are you haven’t eaten in 5 days and no one can deny a guilty pleasure.
It’s okay to be angry. And it’s okay not to be angry. We all process things differently.
Get your mind off of it- not to an unhealthy level of course, but you still need to be a functioning member of society. Go to work. Find a new hobby. Take up running.
Consume your life with positivity. Just because this time in your life is an incredibly rough patch doesn’t mean you can’t try to find the silver lining in things. You want to overcome your break up, you don’t want it to overcome you.
Resist the incredible urge to TP the ex’s house. Maybe this belongs up with the anger phase but the burning desire to egg that house, or trash it is so intense. Resist. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal.
Ignore that nasty saying that “they best way to get over someone is to get under someone”. Sex isn’t everything. You are more than welcome to do as you please, but you need to take care of yourself. If you are still grieving- wait until you’re done. It’s not like you want to be crying while you’re trying to “get under someone”. That’s just weird.
Talk to your friends about it- but only select friends. Don’t engage in conversations that are going to pull you down and make you question if what happened was right. You need uplifting people who can tell you “you got this, you’re going to be perfectly fine. So… go wipe the snot off your face and let’s go get something to eat because you look like the Thin Man”.
Count your blessings. Like any hardship we go through it is important never to lose sight of what really matters and of how lucky we are.
Make a plan with al your extra time and focus on YOU and your growth. Cuddle extra with your fur babies, start doing Yoga to heal you from the inside out, wake up to see the sunrise. Go attempt to paddle board to see if you like it, or if you’ll drown (disclaimer, I drowned).
And above all, know that it’ll be okay. Divorce, friend break up, romantic break up… you will live to see tomorrow and the sooner you get off the floor and stop sobbing the sooner you will see that to be true.
Here we go, the blog post I never thought I would write is being written.
So the other day I was leaving the grocery store and one of those people who stalks unaware costumers to sign petitions to legalize marijuana and sign up for alien invasions was there. I do my usual “please God don’t talk to me, or look at me or think about talking or looking at me” fast walk to my car. Then he says “sign this petition to stop sexual predators from getting early release”.
And let’s just take a break right there and remember my blog posts all about that topic.
I felt like I stopped in my tracks, like I forgot how to move my feet because I was so torn on turning around and asking what the hell is wrong with him, and also wanting to educate him on what a sensitive topic he is just flippantly spewing words at.
The thing is, I was a victim of “a sexual predator” (ehw). I endured someone elses freak desires and lived that life as a child. And then I grew up and went to the grocery store where some random guy is yelling a public reminder out to me and the whole world.
Here’s the thing. Sexual abuse/ rape/ child indecency- they are all extremely sensitive subjects, they already have a stigma towards them that doesn’t need more inflating. Dealing with the sentencing, imprisionment and parole hearings is an entire process. I don’t need someone at walmart chiming in their two cents.
What is more disturbing to me than absolutely everything is the seed that was planted in our heads long ago.
You see, I could really care less how *other people* feel about individuals getting out of prison. But the man at the grocery store insinuating that one thing was right, and one thing was wrong was infuriating. It’s not a random by-standards choice who gets out of prison, it’s not even the victims. It’s a whole entire process of judges, committees, counselors and a slew of other people.
Maybe I will just start my own petition that stops people from spewing “sexual predator” on the side of the grocery store where 3 year olds hear and question “Mommy.. what’s a predator?”
Point is- you don’t know about another persons struggle. Many people think I am crazy for being happy (let’s call it content, happy sounds weird) Sperm Donor was released. But it was okay for ME. But it might not be okay for another victim, they might not be ready for that reality yet. And that’s okay. The point is there shouldn’t be a petition to begin with- this isn’t about some ass hat trying to get X amount of signatures. This is about correction, re-facilitating people, and time to heal.
I am so fascinated by the idea of minimalism. And while I am nowhere near a complete minimalist, I really appreciate the concept of having less stuff, and less clutter. I do live in a pretty small apartment so I might be more “forced” into minimalism than most, but hey, let’s make the most of it and get on with the tips.
The one touch rule- when you come home put your jacket away in that moment. Don’t put it on the couch just to pick it up again and put it away, or move it to sit. Tell yourself “one touch” and just put it away. This will help your home look cleaner too- you’re welcome.
Have a spot for everything. Life is a lot easier if everything has a home, and everything is in it’s home. It’s also a lot easier to tell other people where things go if you KNOW where they undoubtedly go as well. This will help you not accidentally buy 3 pair of scissors because you don’t know where they went- they should be in their home.
One in, one out policy- adopt this policy when you buy new things. If you want a new pair of shoes- GREAT! Buy them, but get rid of another pair of shoes. We only have 2 feet and a handful of outfits we wear anyway- do you really need 756 pairs?
Regularly access your belongings- this is helpful for many reasons, mostly so you don’t buy crap you already have, but also because you will find you have things that will work in lieu of buying other things.
Have a donation bin readily available- I am a strong believer in donating, probably because Good Will is my jam. If you have a place to put items you wish to donate, you will be more likely to donate even more things!
I am no where near an extreme minimalist, but I am a realist. If you implement these tips you will find yourself not just with less stuff, but with MORE money- and who doesn’t want that?
Here we go again with me telling you how you should live your life. As always, my disclaimer is that I am in no way qualified to teach you things, but you clicked so that must mean something! I have been thinking a lot about time management and how I am a pro at wasting all of my time. But considering I have Adultish, a full-time job, I do a lot with Vegas Friend and BK, and I am in school- I decided it was probably time to get my life together and crack down on some time management techniques.
I think first and foremost you have to analyze your time and how you are using it. Write down the moment that you wake up and then go on from that to plan out your entire week. I use “flex” time to distinguish my free time. This allows me to look at my set week and see just how much time I have to do the things I need to.
Do things right as they come up. Instead of saying “oh, I will just do this later” do it right then, it will take two seconds and you won’t forget about it. This keeps your task list relatively short since you will accomplish more.
The less liked solution is to sacrifice sleep. If you can skimp out on an hour of sleep and get 7 instead of 8 hours- but turn in an assignment, do it!
Choose wisely. If you only have an hour and you need to do 6 different things, make sure you’re choosing the most important thing.
Multitask- laundry is the best thing to multitask because you throw it in and do other things while your clothes are washing/ drying. You can listen do a podcast while you fold clothes, or a lecture while you put them away. Laundry is time managements jackpot.
Prioritize. I heard this great analogy about rocks, pebbles and sand. If you have a jar and you have rocks, sand and pebbles and they all need to fit perfectly how do you make it happen? You put the rocks, largest and hardest things to accomplish first- check them off your list and do them. Then you put the pebbles in, cross off your medium sized tasks. Then you do all the tiny tasks you had to do, your sand, and before you know it you’ve perfectly filled up your glass and all your rocks, pebbles and sand (todos) are done!
Make a list. I always make a list, for my blogs, homework, housework, my job- lists are my jam. They keep me on track and make sure I don’t forget things.
I hope you will be able to implement some of these tasks. If not you can be like my friend who said “Time management…. I think about all I need to do… and then I freak the fuck out, then cry”.