How To Spring Clean Your Life| Adultish

Being that we are a few days into spring and it has stopped raining- it’s time for a Spring Blog!

Usually when we think about Spring Cleaning we think about washing the curtains and dusting ceiling fans. We don’t usually think about the season changeWhenever the seasons change I like to take that as a chance to revamp, and get my life together post-winter, pre-spring style.

Spring cleaning your life can be broken down into three categories.

First, there is the actual cleaning part.

I like to take this time to open the windows and get some fresh air in. Let all the winter feels fly out the window (literally), put some tunes on and clean your nasty house ya filthy animal. This is basically my GYST routine on crack. Of course I always wash dishes and do laundry- but I have found a few things that really make my space feel springy.

  • Change your curtains/ curtain rod- no really, makes a HUGE difference
  • Dust. Try not to think of this as a chore but more of a symbolic representation of cleaning a season away, and welcoming a new one.
  • Rearrange/ redecorate. I find myself doing this quite frequently just because I love it. Moving one piece of furniture can revamp the look of your place.
  • Change your sheets/ decorative pillows or pillow cases
  • Invest in a carpet rake– so random I know but it’s totally a miracle worker. (Take it from a flooring installers ex-wife who knows a thing or two.)
  • And probably my all time favorite- change your homes scent- I alternate between Scentsy and using my diffuser with essential oils. To each their own.

Second part of spring cleaning your life is planning. #PlanAllTheThings

Like I said, I really look at each season change as basically a new start. And you already know I love new beginnings! I plan my finances for the next few months, solidify any trips (hint hint/wink wink) make my doctors appointments. I reevaluate where I am with my goals for the year/ for my life- any and everything that’s future-focused. Even my car (who I named Molly because- well. She looks like a Molly) got on the band wagon of new beginnings because my service required light came on and I had to get an oil change and tire rotation- Molly’s always looking out for me/ taking all my money. Even more things I will do (depending on my motivation).

  • Organize my dresser and closet
  • Purge clothes I haven’t worn/ won’t wear
  • Make a spring dream board of my short term goals for the next few months
  • Change my phone lock screen. I know this sounds weird- but- change sparks joy and even if you only change your phones lock screen you will be surprised at the impact it will make

Last but not least is lifestyle.

Guess whats after Spring… can anyone guess? SUMMER!! And I may or may not have a super exciting trip around the corner that you’re going to lose your mind about need to get my mind and body ready for summer again. So that means I need to really hunker down on my runs, workouts, and yoga. I also lump a ton of beauty stuff in this category you could do in here too…

  • Get your haircut
  • Get a facial or do a home facial
  • Get a massage/ go float/ go to the chiropractor
  • Revamp your workout routine
  • Do all the masks- face, hair, skin masks. Never too many masks.
  • Change your meditation/ yoga/ workout space

I hope that you will give these tips/tricks/hacks/ weird things I do a try. Personally I love season changes and all that is to come with them. I am also filled with too much coffee and not enough sleep- so it could be that too.

Happy Spring!

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When Your Entire Life Is From Amazon| Adultish

So it’s no secret at all that California is one of the most expensive places to live. Expensive like a studio apartment where your neighbor sells crack is $900/ month. Moving out here I was 18 and going to live with my aunt and uncle rent free so I really didn’t even think about the cost of living. Even when I moved out and lived with my husband and we had a mortgage- I still didn’t think about how expensive it was because he made enough money and it wasn’t a concern. But then with the divorce and me moving out to rent a room- I was basically mind blown.

Thankfully- the place I moved into right after the divorce was furnished because I had ZERO money in my account. #DivorcedLife. BUT– where I just recently moved into was NOT furnished. I ended up searching Amazon for basically everything on my lunch breaks at work. I bought a bed that came in a box- that Vegas Friend helped me put together, as well as a bed frame that lets you have storage underneath and also makes it to where you don’t have to buy a box spring. Both of these were really affordable (other wise I would be sleeping on the floor!) and I like that whenever I do move next- neither one are too heavy for me to move. I do have a 9 cube storage thingy that I love, and a crap ton of fairy lights for ambiance. My pillows, comforter and even my keurig is from Amazon. I legit eat sleep and breathe amazon.

If there’s one thing about me it’s that I love to shop. Like it’s an actual issue and I probably need help it is what it is and I can stop anytime I want to. I have never been one to go to Nordstrom or (trying to think of another expensive store but I legit don’t know because I don’t go……) fancy stores. Ross/ Marshalls/ TJ Maxx/ Walmart- those are my JAM. But considering I didn’t start driving until I was 23, I couldn’t physically GO to those stores but once every now and again.

This is when my obsession with Amazon happened… I was at Ross one day and found the CUTEST pair of pointy toe flats NOT IN MY SIZE. Since I work at a University and walk around a lot- I am not about to wear heals. I looked the brand up on Amazon and they legit make every color imaginable and I own almost all of them now. Whooops! They are just cute, simple and comfortable and I get a surprising amount of compliments on them- and then “What? Really?!” when people find out where I got them. Hehe!

So once I knew that Amazon had most everything in the world I started to use it to my advantage. My depression medicine has one beautiful side effect- hair loss. YAY. So I went to Ulta upon recommendation. Now- here’s the thing about Ulta and I. I have never walked out of that store spending less that $300. It does not happen. It’s impossible. I legit can’t even go to the grocery store that’s in the same shopping center as Ulta because I do not trust myself. But I did go in that one day and bought Eprouvage shampooleave in, the serum and a mask. CHA-CHING. Only to realize that it’s CHEAPER on Amazon. I will say I have never been true to any shampoo/ conditioner- but this stuff is awesome. I have a good amount of my coworkers hooked on this because it smells so good. The serum in particular has helped my hair grow back. The leave in conditioner had me sold when I used it on BKs friends hair after swimming. Oh, and a bonus for you- if you love the Hempz lotion as much as I do- it’s stupidly cheaper on Amazon than in any other store I’ve ever seen.

But wait there’s more… I bought the CUTEST wireless mouse (in rose gold of course) for work and a (rose gold) mouse pad also (from Amazon duhhhh). The wired mouse I had only had a foot of wire that wasn’t tangled with every other wire and I was so close to smashing it against a wall everyday. And the metal mouse pad? Yeah- I kind of get freaked out that the fabric ones get all dirty and I like that I can lysol this.. Yes, I need help- I know.

And then maybe my favorite Amazon find is this retractable car charger thingy. It coils up so you don’t have an ugly cord just chilling and most people who ride in my car end up getting one because I tell them they can’t have mine. Lol.

I don’t know what it is with me and Amazon- but it’s probably one of my biggest life hacks ever. It’s convenient, most things are cheaper, you don’t lose receipts- AND. If you want to buy something but are waiting for it to go on sale- put it in your cart. Almost always about 3 days later it’s on sale.

#You’reWelcome #GottaGoShopOnAmazonNow #ThisIsAnAffiliatedPost #ButTheShampooIsBomb

 

 

 

Nitty Gritty

I know I posted an “all about me” blog- but there’s definitely more to me than just jack and coke and me being cold (okay, there’s not much more, but you get the picture).

When I was young (like 4 maybe) Sperm Donor found EDF in a grocery store parking lot. Slapped her unconscious and took me for the next few years. I think I was actually on a milk carton?

My sister had a hamster and when it died it was buried in a tampon box. I can’t make this stuff up.

The car EDF had was an old red mustang rusted all over with multiple dents from wrecks. It actually did have zipties for door handles, and no air conditioning.

Growing up my grandma was my angel. Plus she always had goldfish.

I had a bunny when I lived with Sperm Donor. Bunny lived in a cage outside. One day a stray dog killed Bunny. Sperm Donor took the dog “home”. Come to find out he shot and killed the dog.

I ran away from the Catholic school I was enrolled in. My teacher was the first male teacher I ever had after going back with EDF. His name was Mr. German. I told him I had to go to the bathroom and I just ran away.

When I was 15 I started to cut myself- and only an extreme few know about this. So- surprise.

I stopped cutting when I was 18-ish.

My credit is 19 kinds of fucked because EDF used it to apply to new electric/ utility companies to keep the lights on- and not pay. Oh, and from that one credit card I had when I was 18.

It’s quite possible I have a lizard or something living in my little apartment.

Sometimes I think the only way I survive the day is with the help coffee and music.

When I was in high school I was voted “most likely to start a protest”. Still not sure if that was a compliment or not.

There are a handful of people I have in my life that know more than anyone ever should know about a person.

I used to play guitar.

Using a period app is probably the single smartest thing I’ve done in my life. Get Clue- you’re welcome.

I don’t think there’s a single thing music can’t fix.

I have horrific reoccurring nightmares that I am in the holocaust. Horrifying.

All through out high school I ate nacho cheese and hot Cheetos for lunch. #HealthEatingGoals

I pay the same amount of rent for my tiny place as EDF payed for the 3 bedroom house she rented in Texas.

But I love my life here- and my job- and my “family”- and it makes everything worth it.

Not Getting Divorced

I guess I should have known that this was going to happen.

It seemed really obvious from how things went in the beginning.

There have been so many on and off again struggles with this divorce.

My divorce STILL is not final. I got the email from his lawyer yesterday letting us know that the judge still had not signed the papers- still married, going on a year of trying to get a divorce. At this rate it seems as if I we are not EVER getting divorced. I will be 78 years old with fourty-seven plants and still be married to him.

#LifeGoals #ThePlantsNotTheMarriedPart

He and I are amicable. We don’t argue anymore and if ever I want to see the puppy he always lets me.

So it’s not that I want to be divorced because I am grouchy with him- not at all. It’s mostly just for the sake of taxes and because of financial aid for school.

It does feel weird though, because even though we aren’t legally divorced yet, if people ask if I am married, I tell them “oh no, I’m divorced”. “Divorced” seems to be the dirty “D” word now. Where people hear you say DIVORCED as if it’s the key phrase of a Satan chant and everyone looks at you like the “D Word” is contagious. I find it especially interesting when people find out I am going through a divorce because I look much younger than I am- and as if (to some) divorce isn’t bad enough, now I’m SIXTEEN and divorced. Eye. Rolls. All. Day.

But he and I actually spoke not too long ago. I called him to basically say thanks for the divorce- which I know is SO WEIRD. But I grew so much from it- and I am really happy in my life. And I think and hope that he is happy too. Both of our lives are going in completely different directions, and I am reminded with every new step he takes in his life how much I enjoy mine.

It is a smidge weird though- I won’t lie. To be nonchalant with a man you were in love with and share a bed with. The man who saw you at your everything. Aaaand, now you guys are just random people who sometimes need signatures or over the phone approvals to switch names over.

Somethings in life are just weird and freaky- and I think that’s all there is to it. So maybe in another 6 months/ year I will post again and actually be divorced.

But don’t hold your breath 😊

 

 

 

Parole Hearing & Forgiveness | Adultish

To say that “I don’t want to write this blog” would be a complete and utter understatement. I might actually rather be caught on fire (okay, not really.. but you get my point). I guess I knew this was coming. I knew it from three years ago. And yet BOOM- I’m all emotional and contemplating life like it’s my hobby.

You see – Sperm Donor (my “dad” ((just threw up a bit)) ) is eligible for parole right now. And every time this happens I get to have an interview with the parole board. I don’t think I mind this- I don’t think this is what bothers me. But the idea that I am “playing God” definitely does bother me.

And I suppose what bothers me MOST is that EDF is also interviewing. Last time this happened she went out of her way to make sure he was not released. Petitions, letters, crazy stuff that I legit don’t have the time for. Or the desire. Nor the fucks to give. And it makes me feel as if she fights so hard for her way that mine doesn’t even matter.

I want to be true to me in the process here- I want to not lose myself or be changed by anger. And “me” can’t even kill an earth worm. I legit saved two of them just the other day. I can’t get rid of a plant that’s dying because to me it’s murder. And- yes, I know I sound totally crazy. But I grew up with constant hurt so as an adult I detest the idea.

Harboring unforgiveness is toxic to your soul. It’s poison. Unforgiveness robs your joy, steals your happiness. I filled my morning with podcasts on forgiveness. One thing stuck out the most- forgiving someone doesn’t mean you go out to dinner with them, or have sleep overs. It just means you’ve forgiven them. It just means you’ve let go of the poison in your heart and you’re not as impacted by the situation anymore.

I want to know that I was true to myself and my values the entire time. It’s not up to non-earth-worm-killing-me if he is released on parole. It’s up to the parole board and some guy Fred. I think I realized this morning that just because I have forgiven him, doesn’t make everything rainbows and lollipops. Whenever he gets out I will have to deal with whatever emotions come my way. But I do know I will come to work, drink tons of coffee, decorate and redecorate my place and continue life as we know it.

Because truly I only have 5 fucks to give each day, and not one of them is for this.

 

You Always Say That | Adultish

You know how people always say ” if I knew then what I know now”? I love that little piece of advice because I think it’s extremely relatable. But I don’t believe in regrets- or in living your life focused on the “could have/ should haves” of life. Instead I think you just need to live.

This advice is most appropriate for those people who *could* know what you know now. Usually our kids, friends, cousins, relatives can use this information the most, before it’s too late. A lot of these lessons are EASY ones, harmless ones, but needless to say, ones we can’t see the importance of until we are 23 and contemplating life for the 96th time this week.

Here we are, at one of BKs extracurriculars. BK seems to get discouraged rather fast, maybe a smidge of a pessimist and a splash of anxiety- ingredients for one awesome kid with a remarkable ability to make up illnesses and excuses- but she is sooo cute. Things like- “I’ve been sneezing a lot- do you think I should go? “ugh, this is dumb” “do I have to go?”- legit questions BK asks every week. My response is always the same “It’ll be as good as you make it”. No matter what the issue or complaint is- it will be as good as you make it. And then tonight BK says “Ugh, YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT” Yep! I sure do. And you know why? Because it’s an invaluable lesson. Going through a divorce? It will be as good as you make it. Plan an entire week and it’s all going a different way? It’ll be as good as you make it.

That’s the key- we have so much control over our life that we don’t even realize. Control that we don’t channel because it’s the hardest to channel. We can choose our emotions, our outlook, our feelings. With control over our emotions we can then control the way we view situations. Example: BK doesn’t want to do extracurriculars because…. the room stinks (its true). Because the room stinks we decide it’s disgusting, we decide we hate it, we decide we hate extracurriculars. OR. The room stinks. And that’s it- it just stinks. But we come to extracurriculars, we kick ass and take names and then we go eat Pho.

Everything will be as good as you make it- but it takes effort and a conscious decision to legit “choose the road less traveled by”. There’s been a lot of things I could be reactive about, I could let ruin my life, I could be a total brat about. And I think BD (before divorce) I let everything ruin my life and change my emotions. And then came a time where I just could not invest emotions in things that did not truly matter- because that’s how people become grumpy old senile jerks who give soap for Christmas. Don’t be a jerky senile soap giver.

The Struggle Bus

I don’t know if you’ve heard of me, but I am the Struggle Bus. I am what you ride when shit gets too real to ride the Easy Train. Years ago I was the Easy Train, I was new and shiny, engine purred like a kitten and my Mercedes hood ornament was so shiny!But that was years ago. Now I don’t have a hood ornament, some ass-wipe kids took it. My seats are mostly metal, the cushions and fabric are torn off from extreme use, and age. I am kind of stinky, a mix of wet yuck and gasoline. I used to drive smoothly, but now my exhaust pipe blows black gunk and my engine might have a cat stuck in there. But, you already know who I am- who am I kidding.

I am the Struggle Bus. The “I forgot my matching shoe and to brush my hair” transit vehicle on your way to work. I drove you to the store with your last nineteen bucks. It was twenty but I hit a bump and a dollar flew out of the window. Oh, almost forgot to mention how the windows don’t roll up or down because they are cracked and have baseball sized holes in them. I think it gives me character.

I am the Struggle Bus. I am the reason you spilt a smoothie on your white pants before that meeting with your boss today. You know, the meeting where said smoothie-pants smelled up the entire 3rd floor conference room and people just looked at you as if you were a puppy who peed on the rug. I picked you up from that meeting too… except…..PS. You left your keys on the passengers seat and I have zip ties for door handles- so good luck on getting those back. I’m pretty innovative with zip ties.

I am the Struggle Bus. Everyone rides me from time to time. I am usually taking brand new moms to their baby’s first doctor appointment, you know, the one where the doctor freaks you out about everything and then you cry because your baby lost more than 10% of its body weight. Or sometimes I come and pick you up right after a night of intense drinking, I do that for a lot of people. Maybe that’s why I smell?

I know what your thinking. Why the hell would you want to ride the stinky-cat-engine Struggle Bus when you COULD ride the Easy Train? Cause the Easy Train is pretty sweet. Usually you ride it when you have more than twenty bucks for the week and clean pants. And the Easy Train is nice, actual seat cushions, and it doesn’t even stink!

But everyone gets to ride the Struggle Bus, it’s a right of passage. The type of lesson that makes taking the Easy Train feel remarkable. Rides that detour at “Get Your Life Together” and “How to Adult” Avenue. I don’t want you not to like me just because I am not “as nice” as the Easy Train- after all, he doesn’t have the life experience I do. I know I kind of stink, and I know the seats are sticky sometimes, but I have so many lessons to teach you. So please, next time you’re riding the good ole Struggle Bus, try to be appreciative of the things you do like, or think about how everyone has a turn on the Bus. It shouldn’t be viewed as a bad thing, but just another learning experience, a part of life.

Love always,

Struggle Bus.